She's Got Everything

Matthew 6:19-21Amplified Bible (AMP)

19 “Do not store up for yourselves [material] treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in and steal; 21 for where your treasure is, there your heart [your wishes, your desires; that on which your life centers] will be also.

As some of you know my husband and I have been working to become minimalists for about a year now.  We've been slowly trudging through "our" stuff and getting rid of things. Mostly my things. We've been rearranging our lives to start actually thinking about what we have, why we have it, and what purpose it serves.  It made me realize that I had a strong emotional connection to clutter in my life and yet I was not happy.

My favorite movie growing up was The Little Mermaid.  I remember singing the "Part of This World"song over and over again.  My parents bought me the cassette tape and I'd play it over and over. The words started "Look at this stuff. Isn't it neat? wouldn't you say my collections complete? wouldn't you say I'm a girl, girl who has everything?"  It continued to reveal that Ariel wanted more than things in her life she wanted love, she wanted adventure, she wanted to experience something she had never seen before or never been part of.

We can surround ourselves as much as we want with things and with possessions that we feel bring us joy.  However, if you realize that you still feel empty inside your cluttered house perhaps you are longing for more.  I began to realize I'd rather spend money on meaningful things like experiences with my family.  Like investing time into helping my family grow spiritually and closer together. More importantly, it helped me realized that if I had lost everything I would still be okay and God would supply all my needs.  I realized that what I had were not needs but wants. The most important things in life were not bought.  The most important things in life were provided to me by a gracious God who loved me.  The most important things in my life such as my family were God's gift and I could never have done anything to earn them.

When we realize as Christians that we are just "travelers passing through", it makes me think perhaps I should have the bare minimum while I'm down here.  Do we travel light?  What is important for this journey in life? Is it the things we carry on our backs? or the things we carry in our hearts?

Sarcasm Chasm

Ephesians 4:15Amplified Bible (AMP)

15 But speaking the truth in love [in all things—both our speech and our lives expressing His truth], let us grow up in all things into Him [following His example] who is the Head—Christ.

So many times... I've opened my mouth and I've said things I've regretted.  Many times people need to remind me that I'm being sarcastic and rude.  The sad part is most of the time I don't even realize I'm doing it. Most of the time I do it when I'm feeling like someone is up my neck or judging me.  I guess what I need to realize is how it makes people feel.  The words we speak the things we do are impacting the people around us... we need to realize when we speak we represent Christ.  People don't want a God who is sarcastic they want a God who is a God of love.

Do you know how sometimes you don't need to say anything? Sometimes our body language is enough to reveal how we are feeling about things?  It is REALLY hard for me to show up to work sometimes in a good mood.  Most days I go in I see that one student who is really a challenge for my patience and I think oh great... this is going to be a fun day. My attitude is displayed through my body language and sooner or later my boss picks up on it and tells me.  I'm like NO what do you mean?  then I realize what she's saying is true! I need to welcome every child into my classroom with love.  In my words, in my actions, and deep in my heart I have to get to the root of my bitterness to realize... these are the children I'm put here to serve with God's love.  This is my ministry... if I'm bitter, if I'm sarcastic, if I'm "not in the mood to deal with it" then what kind of a testimony am I giving?

This also impacts my relationships with others. So many times it is easiest to say to people you love ... nasty things.  Things that you don't think but you just say them because perhaps you didn't drink enough coffee in the morning... perhaps you are bitter at something else which causes you to lash out on people you love the most.  I'm not saying coffee keeps me from saying stupid things... I actually think coffee causes my motor mouth to run off more. I avoid caffeine. When we realize just about everything we say impacts people we realize how we can make our mark on the world.  God wants us to take our sarcasm and turn it around into love.  He wants us to model how God would talk to others.  We need to remember in our stressful moments that God is in control.  Not just of the situation but of our tongues.  We need to surrender fully to Him and allow Him to speak through us.

In this day, my challenge is to you to speak from love.  Watch the sarcasm chasm... do not get into that pit of despair. Speak words that will cause others to realize they are loved, cherished, and worthy.

F.I.G.H.T. Back

Psalm 96:3 ESV 

Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples!

It is come to my realization just how important it is to make an impact in the world. My husband and I were talking last night about how literacy can survive through ages.  When an author dies they leave a sort of legacy.  I was beginning to think I'd love to be an author.  Then I realized  I am an author.  I would like to catch you up on some great things God has done in my life recently because I feel it will help you see my perspective now as I take on this blog again;

I have welcomed my daughter into my life.  I was told most of my life since about 1997 to 2001 that I was not able to have children because I had a brain aneurysm. In 2012 I married the love of my life who was willing to adopt and foster with me.  When I realized that in order to be a foster parent in our state we were suppose to tell our youth that it was okay to be gay we realized that the red tape was just not very friendly for our biblical lifestyle.  Then a good friend of the family passed away and in her dying breath revealed to my mother her one regret in life was never having children.  This sent chills down my spine and hubby and I sat down with doctors and asked if by some miracle the brain aneurysm was indeed gone.  It was there was nothing but scar tissue.  I had many tests and many doctors opinions and I was cleared to have kids... as long as I got my A1C down and I did. Last year I gave birth to a healthy baby girl.  She was born premature.  I had almost died after having preclampsia and losing over half my blood. Thanks to people who donate blood I was able to receive three blood transfusions that saved my life. My life now has taken on a new role as a mom, as a wife, yes I do not find it easy to find time to write.  However, I feel it is important to get the messages that God puts in my heart across to the world.

So here I am.  I'm back! I'm ready to live life and F.I.G.H.T.

Raggedy but Cherished

Isaiah 64:6
All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away.

My mom has a Raggedy Ann doll, because she had a difficult life... and she didn't have any dolls to play with. My grandma made my mother a rag doll with blonde yarn hair, button eyes, a candy heart, and a heart sewed onto her chest.  I LOVED my mom's rag doll growing up but realized how precious it was to my mom.  When I was a bit older my mom made me a doll also looked like me She even embroidered a heart on it. My mom loved her doll.  To her it wasn't just something that was made from rags that were put together.  To her it was very special especially because it was created with love.   She cherished that doll and loved that doll and still does to this day.

I believe that God made us with love and cherishes us!  Because of sin His creation became as filthy rags but He still loves us!  When I think of my mom's doll I remember the heart she has sewn on her chest.  Every time I remember that heart I remember without Christ we would not have life.  A heart gives life to our bodies.  Christ in our heart gives us eternal life. We might not be as beautiful on the outside as a porcelain doll and we may not be perfect but we are definitely cherished and we are definitely loved..  God sees us He loves us despite our rags. He sees our hearts.  We do not have to be fancy or fake with Him we can be ourselves we can be raggedy and He'll always love us He created us! He sewed us together in our mother's womb! We are as filthy riches but He restored us through Christ's sacrifice for us and when we accept Christ into our hearts we can go on and be cherished for eternity!  Because in Christ we have life! 

Hopeful Romantic

“Why must people kneel down to pray? If I really wanted to pray I’ll tell you what I'd do. I'd go out into a great big field all alone or in the deep, deep woods and I'd look up into the sky—up—up—up—into that lovely blue sky that looks as if there was no end to its blueness. And then I'd just feel a prayer.”  Anne Shirely in Anne of the Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery 

When I was growing up I loved Anne of the Green Gables so much that I used to borrow all the movies constantly from the library and watch them over and over.  I used to read the book and become lost in the characters and feel like I was part of the story right there "kindered spirits" with Anne. 

I do feel that if Anne was a real person in my time we would be friends.  I love how dramatic she was quoting poetry getting into a boat laying down to feel what the person in the poem felt only to be awaken by her boat sinking and her clinging to a pier post needing to be rescued by a boy who teased her (later to become her husband).  Whenever she made a mistake she thought she was "doomed to despair". Mainly I love how Anne (who was an orphan and not actually wanted at first once adopted) finally realized that people loved her for who she was and embraced her unique qualities.  She was no longer a hopeless romantic but a hopeful romantic with people who cared deeply for her and she genuinely cared deeply for people. Not to mention she became a teacher.  What other better profession right? Let's get back to the point.  The quote above is from Anne when her guardian was trying to get her to kneel and say her prayers like a girl who wasn't raised by "heathens".  However, Anne has something different in mind... Anne is a romantic and a hopeful romantic.  She was pretty on par when she explained that she felt the way to get closest to God was through His creation.

As an adult I'm still a bit of a daydreamer and a romantic.  I could lay out in the field of the campground that I go to in Acadia, Maine for hours stare deep into the night sky while the stars beyond stars. I feel so much closer to God being surrounded by His creation, when it comes to having an intimate relationship with God give me a romantic picnic in the field with Him alone any day. 

Sometimes we need to be like Anne more and romanticize even with how amazing God's creation is and let it bring us closer to Him.  Alone time with God in a field?  or in the woods? Doesn't that sound so romantic?  Doesn't it just give you goosebumps?  God wants a relationship with us! He wants to show you His beauty wrap you in His loving arms and tell you how loved you are and how He longs to hold you close to Him.  Where will you meet God today?

James 4:8 a
Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.

The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow

John 14:3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

Sometimes I feel like little orphan Annie just holding onto Hope.  I hope that God meets my needs, I hope that my future will be bright.  However, no matter what I "know", that Jesus will be coming back and when He does He has a place for me... a mansion just over the hilltop.

As a young girl I loved watching Annie.  I loved watching the little girl who had nothing, still clinging onto the hope that someday someone would love her and come back for her.  She hoped that it would be her biological parents.  I'm sure that Annie felt out of place in the "hard knocks" of life.  I'm sure she just clung to her dream that someday someone would swoop her up and her worries would be over and her life would be fulfilled and life would hold a little more meaning.  She sang joyfully of "TOMORROW". 

I admit that sometimes when I have a difficult day I often find myself even humming this song.  "When we are stuck with a day that's gray and lonely we just need to stick up our chin and grin and say... Tomorrow, tomorrow, we love you tomorrow!"  No matter how gray and dismal life can become I always take advice from Annie and remember who my Father is in Heaven and that I've got Jesus coming back for me Tomorrow! and it may only be a day away!  Cling to the promise that there is a mansion waiting for you someday that God is our adoptive Father who loves us very much when the world just seems to be so dark and people are so greedy. God offers us Shelter in His unfailing Love.  Keep focusing on the future! Stay bright and sing on! He's coming back! and until then remember that His Mercy is new every morning so just hang on until tomorrow come what may.

22 It is because of the Lord’s loving kindness that we are not consumed,

Because His [tender] compassion never fail. 23 They are new every morning;

Great and beyond measure is Your faithfulness

Lamentations 3:22-23 Amplified Bible (AMP)

Don't Be a Snore Loser

Psalms 30: 5b - weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

Have the thoughts in your mind ever kept you awake at night? Has worry ever made you lose out on a good night's sleep? Has depression ever overtaken your joy to the point where you sleep all day and stay up all night?

This past week and for probably many weeks now I haven't been sleeping well. I've stayed awake worrying about work and thinking about my classroom. I would get up in the middle of the night to work on lesson plans then be falling asleep at my keyboard and crawl back into bed.  It used to be my constant thought, until now. I remember listening to my husband snoring and thinking HOW does he do it? How can he just "relax"and sleep?  I was so tired of being tired and drinking coke to stay alive during the daytime. I felt like a vampire but instead of sucking life out of others I was letting life suck it out of me. 

If you obsess over anything God may just take that away from you. You may not think you are obsessing over something and you may not even realize you are doing it. God wants us to think about Him not about our problems but our promises we have through Him. God doesn't want us to worry He wants us to just trust He has a plan.  For me, I know God has a plan but sometimes it's hard to just "relax" and let God deal with it all.  Thankfully He always seems to know when to grab the steering wheel and pull the car back into the right direction so my thoughts don't run me into a tree.  

My pastor has been talking about Gideon lately and talking about how God didn't call us to be losers. I thought that this was perfect for all the stress that I went through this week to just relax and realize God has already won the victory over my situation.  Then I remembered that word "loser"... I realized losers usually lose something... they usually lose faith. Most of the time they lose faith that God is going to work all things out.  I don't want to be a loser because I know that God is going to work all things out. It's definitely not worth losing sleep over.

1 Peter 5:7 - Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

Shoving the Cork In It!

Luke 6:45  For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.

Have you ever wish you could hold your tongue? Have you ever said something too quickly and then regretted saying it for the rest of your life?

Last Saturday my pastor gave us a cork at the end of the sermon. He told us an inspiring story about how the whales would smack the cork down to the bottom of the ocean and no matter how many times that cork was smacked down it would still rise up. The moral of the story was that we are not called to be looser but to rise up in Victory and WIN the battle that God set before us. This was very inspirational at this time. I whispered to my mom what I had planned for my small cork and how special it made me feel. I felt like yes I have definitely been knocked down in life. I need to start standing up for myself and say I'm not a looser! I can do all things through Christ who gives me Strength! I have good plans that God has planned for my life and He planned them already. He mapped out my life before I was born and He didn't call me to be a failure He has a plan for success and prosperity! He wants to place me where He needs me most but He wants me to realize He placed me there. I need to not be afraid but trust that He has a reason.

The pastor's son who is also a pastor in my church recently wrote a blog about the "Disease to Please". In the blog he stated how pleasing people can sometimes form into idolatry. We all know that God doesn't like idolatry and He will do anything to destroy any idols we put up in our life.

Confession time: I've got the disease to please... recently it has become aware to me that I'm forming idols in my life with my job. It's not uncommon to want to please my employer but when it takes up about 90% of my life and I soon lack the ability to take care of myself.. then I have a problem. The truth is I can easily cure this by just saying "I'm sorry, but no, I can't right now". The thoughts that Satan puts in my mind causing me to feel like if I speak those words I'd get fired or piss my boss off. That's not God, God doesn't want us to become slaves to worry. God doesn't want us to always be afraid to say no because we are afraid we might lose the fight. That's where this little cork comes in. It's time I put a plug in it! It's time to stop saying I'll do something just to make people happy. It's time I stop trying to please people so much that it takes away from my sanity and ability to care for myself. I need to put the cork in my words of worry and those thoughts I have of failure and just let God's words speak instead. It's time I start believing that God is in control and He will carry me through every step of the way.

Moderation Explaination

Proverbs 25:16 Do you like honey? Don't eat too much, or it will make you sick!
       Here I am exhausted from folding laundry. My husband and I seem to both have an abundant amount of clothing possibly enough to clothe a tribe in Africa of people our size. Since we've been married we've already donated a great deal of clothing to Goodwill. Every Wednesday night I do laundry at my parent's house. Every Saturday morning I attempt to tackle the clean laundry and put it away.

      Today I was thinking of this scripture and realized it can be referenced to a great deal of topics. You've heard the expression "too much of a good thing is "not" a good thing"? Since we've been married we have tried to use this scripture to help us control our diet intake and now I'm coming back to it while I gaze at the pile of "my" clothes on the bed. Anytime I think of this scripture I'm reminded of one time when I was younger and I had too many Skittles and now I don't like eating candy so much. It is true when you have too much of something it is never a good thing.
   
      When Jesus came into the earth he had nothing his parents had very little he never had a huge home with lavish furnishings. Instead He lived very humbly off the mercies of others and God's provision. I admire the fact that Jesus could go anywhere without anything and do what God wanted Him to do.

      For our honeymoon we tent camped at Powder Horn in Old Orchard Beach. There I was with massive amounts of bug spray and still complained about bugs. We brought a whole bucket of clothes with us half of which we didn't even wear. It seemed silly to be burdened with so many things that we thought we needed but in reality were just a hindrance.
 
       Have you ever reached the point where too much of a good thing was "not" a good thing? This week I want to encourage you to downsize. Perhaps it's the amount of food you eat. Perhaps it's the amount of clothes you have. Perhaps it's the amount of time you spend playing games on the computer or video game console. Time to break free from the excess!

Luke 3:11  John answered, “Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none, and anyone who has food should do the same.”

Humble Pie

2 Chronicles 7:14

if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

Lately I've been hearing the saying "don't let your eyes grow bigger than your stomach" a lot.  When I think of where my life has been going these last few years I was never really pleased. When things happened which i felt were unfair I blamed people. When in reality I could have gotten myself out of the mess I was in if I just used the brain God gave me instead of trying to insist that everyone solve my problems for me.  Who was I to think that I should be dished out an "easy as pie" life? I know I have  calling to be a teacher. Yes the economy is very unkind right now to that specific calling and yes I was provided with a lousy education for it. However, instead of dwelling on the negatives I need to just push it off and move forward.  Sometimes I need to swallow my pride... and it is not always easy. Sometimes the best way to swallow your pride is to make it into humble pie. We need to understand we are "no one without Christ" and would get "no where" if God didn't have a plan.  Then we need to actually USE the gifts He's given us to get the task done even if it means getting our hands dirty. Bake all that frustration and anger about our circumstances into a nice pie and cook it in the humility until it is ready to swallow. Then move forward.

Today reading the scripture it just released what's been on my mind lately. I'm not humble! I guess I was going with the world that viewed being humble as a sign of weakness. If I admitted that I am the cause of my problems then I am admitting that I am nothing without God's hand in my life.  How can I "just" have God's hand without my own? Didn't God create me so I can do what "I" feel is the best thing "my" way. Somewhere along the road I climbed up onto this high horse and got comfortable. Then after reading this scripture I got a tiny bit confused. This was God talking but for some reason my mind automatically thought to Jesus. I was thinking He never did anything until He knew it was okay with His Father in Heaven. If anyone lived by this scripture it was Him.  Jesus didn't go around and say THIS IS UNFAIR! I should not be hanging from this cross I am called to be the King of Kings! This crown should NOT be made of thorns! This is "not" my calling!  Even when the world's sins came upon Jesus on the cross and all of our burdens... He obeyed His calling.  He was called to be the sacrificial Lamb. He didn't whine, mumble, or blame his teachers or parents.  He did what God wanted.  He fought through it all.

So I'm realizing now it's time for me to stop making excuses and pick up all my slack.  We all have a cross to carry and the world may not be easy but we need to keep on keeping on! When we humble ourselves and realize this then God will bless us beyond what we could ever imagine. It may not ever be in this lifetime... or it may, who knows. All I know is... it is time to take our pride and make some humble pie.

Matthew 23:12 

For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

Easy Street

Matthew 7:14

But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

      It's a new year! Are we going to still continue down that same path? You know the path "everyone" looks for... the easy way out. Anyone loves an easy road we don't have to worry about any speed bumps or stop signs. We don't have to worry about any caution signs and we never would have to put on our hazard lights. Unfortunately, life is never that easy... even when we belong to God.

A lot of people believe that when they give their hearts to Christ that life will be easy from then on out. Christ says to give Him our burdens because His yoke is easy and His burden is light. It doesn't say our burdens will disappear. The difference is when we cast our cares upon Jesus He "helps" carry our burdens instead of us carrying them all by ourselves. However, we need to also realize that when we belong to Christ and our identity is through Him we are going to take on a lot of His burdens as well. Jesus never took the easy road... if He did He would have never willingly submitted His body to go through torture and be crucified on the cross for us. It wasn't even "just" the physical agony that Christ went through. When Jesus was alive He lived the life of an outcast maybe even an outlaw according to the pharisees. He was always running from people who wanted to kill him ever since he was a baby. The people who welcomed Him in put themselves in the line of danger as well. Peter was a good example when he was afraid for himself so he denied Christ three times. Thankfully Christ forgave Peter because the bible says "anyone who denies Me will be denied before My Father in Heaven". We don't want to deny who we are in Christ just to take the easy road. Yet people do it all the time.

    When I grew up in the public schools there was one half of a year in middle school where I was harassed because of my faith. Children spit on me and called me the Virgin Mary, why? because I was "saving myself" for my future husband and honoring God. To them that was an open opportunity to harass me. I am sure we all go through things like this where we are harassed through situations because of our faith even if it's just a joke a work. There are even people who "die" for their faith because they will never deny Christ. The thing I'm constantly reminding myself is... yes I will be persecuted but "blessed" are the persecuted we wont get treasures in earth but our treasure is in Heaven. We wont "fit in" or "belong" here but our home is in Heaven and I am okay with that.

     The bible says "what good does it do a man to profit the whole world but loose his soul". There are people who are walking around with one foot in the world and one foot in God and they can "not" serve two masters. The master of the world is "Satan" and I "know" I want "nothing" to do with him. However there are still Christian's who believe it's okay to live a worldly "easy" lifestyle and belong to Christ. You may "think" that that road is easy but the place it ends up will be far more torturous than you can ever imagine. So be careful which path you take the path less traveled but with a promise at the end or the path which is beaten the path of the world that leads to destruction.


Next time you come to the fork in the road remember to read the signs. Do not take easy street this year.  

Luke 9:23 

 Then He said to them all: “Whoever wants to be My disciple must deny themselves

and take up their cross daily and follow Me.

The List

Jeremiah 32:19
19 great are your purposes and mighty are your deeds. Your eyes are open to the ways of all mankind; you reward each person according to their conduct and as their deeds deserve.

It's three days before Christmas and the children are all wondering what Santa left for them. Will it be a Xbox or a lump of coal? Unfortunately, most of these children will be getting whatever they asked for no matter if they were naughty or nice. Many Christians believe that God plays Santa and gives them things no matter how they live or act. While the wicked do prosper on earth many of us fail to see that our real treasures are stored up in Heaven. God's list is a lot more serious than Santa's.
So what will you be getting for Christmas? Will you be on God's naughty list or God's nice list? Maybe you are hoping for that new big screen HD television that you have been drooling over this last year. Well, although a big screen television is a great thing it is not something your soul or eternity in heaven will benefit from. The bible says "what good does it do a man to gain the whole world and loose his soul". Why are we so caught up with who is getting what? So much we are blinded to see what God has told us to do through His son. Jesus didn't come into the world looking for earthly riches. Jesus would have been top on Santa's nice list but did he get all the things his flesh desired? Jesus told us to look out for the widows and the orphans. Are we doing all that God wants us to do or are we just seeking the rewards the world has to offer "us". Think about it this year would you rather be on Santa's list or God's?

Revelation 20:15
If anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire.

Walking into Walls

Isaiah 59:9-10
Therefore justice is far from us,
Nor does righteousness overtake us;
We look for light, but there is darkness!
For brightness, but we walk in blackness!
10 We grope for the wall like the blind,
And we grope as if we had no eyes;
We stumble at noonday as at twilight;
We are as dead men in desolate places.

You ever feel left in the dark? Perhaps you've been searching for God to show you which door to go through yet you can't seem to find the handle in this dark world we live in? You aren't alone. I can't either but we have to keep believing that God is there through the darkness. We can not be consumed by the darkness we are living in today or we will just become blind like everyone else and start walking into walls. God will direct our steps when we walk in His light. However, sometimes it may be in the full light of noon that we ignore His voice and go another path. Soon we stumble and wonder what happened. God does want to keep us from stumbling but we must chose Him. We should not be living like dead men in desolate places. It is hard especially with the pressures of society but we can do it. Allow God to move you today. Listen to His word in your life and follow His instructions.
God "will" put walls in our way so we wont be able to move through doors without doing what He wants us to do first. In Isaiah 59 God told the people He would "redeem" them but they had to get out of their sins... the people still chose to walk in darkness. Are we choosing to listen to God today or will we just keep walking into walls?


Isaiah 59:8
8 The way of peace they have not known,
And there is no justice in their ways;
They have made themselves crooked paths;
Whoever takes that way shall not know peace.

Deep Sea Diving

Jeremiah 31:34b “...for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.”

Sometimes when I get very low I picture myself drowning in the ocean. I stare at the surface of the water and it is glistening and I see light but the further I sink the darker it gets and the colder I become. Last Saturday I was listening to Audio Adrenaline "Ocean Floor". It said "your sins are forgotten they're on the bottom of the ocean floor". Just then someone told me about how God casts our sins into the sea of forgiveness with no fishing signs... sometimes we go fishing... other times "other" people will go fishing there.
Have you ever had people shove your mistakes in your face? Have people brought up things that God already forgave you for? One of my biggest issues with people is when they go off with emotions then bring up every offense they've ever had toward me no matter how small it was. I do it too. The other day I was working out with my best friend and we were talking about something with her church then she said some words that brought up how angry I was toward a remember of her church who used to go there (and left). That was "years" ago and I was still letting it get to me... I realized I need to let go of that. One time I had an idea of writing down all my fears and issues on rocks and throwing them in the ocean.
Last week when I was subbing a girl was telling me how this other girl offended her on October 8th. I told that girl it was very unhealthy for her to hold onto that for so long and she has to get over it and forgive the girl because it's destroying her joy. Sometimes the ocean is the best place to cast these things because the ocean is so deep that there are parts that haven't been discovered yet. If we go snorkeling near the surface we feel free and can swim and enjoy ourselves. If we deep sea dive we need to be able to carry the burdens necessary to even just survive in that environment. I don't know about you but I don't want extra burdens.
When I was younger I watched a lot of Nova movies about deep sea diving. The fish that always stuck around the surface were the most beautiful fish the deeper you went into the ocean the more scary the fish looked. I don't know about you but I want to stay near the light and not go into the darkness. Come out of the deep sea and into the light. Do not go near your sins... rise above the surface look toward the sunrise move on and realize God's mercy is new every morning.

2 Timothy 2:22
22 Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.

Righteous Rasberries

Mark 16:17 “And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name they shall cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues”

It all started at Beacon House Church when I was seven years old. This lady ran up and down the isles rambling on and on in tongues saying my dad was an evil man and needed to repent and come back to the Lord. Even when I was seven years old I knew in me that something was not right. I did not like this lady saying these things and saying they were from God. I did not like what she said about my dad. My dad had issues but God was dealing with those issues and praise Him now those issues are no longer an issue at all. The real problem was this woman was using a spiritual gift to destroy another person. I was seven and this was my first serious glimpse at spiritual warfare... I was confused, baffled, and disturbed all at the same time. I didn't understand the gift of speaking in tongues and I certainly didn't understand people being slain in the Spirit. So I started going to my aunt's baptist church where I was very comfortably involved in youth activities and had no fear of anyone being slain in the Spirit of rambling off in tongues. Instead I was just fed with the word of God so much that I was able to win awards for bible scripture memorization.
At the time my mom and dad really couldn't understand why I would not want to go to their own church but they were still happy I was learning the word of God. My mom worked diligently to help me memorize the scriptures and would quiz me and help me find ways I was able to use to help me to remember them. My dad also quizzed me and sang songs to me to help me try to remember some of them. It wasn't until later in life that I realized not even the baptist church was perfect. Soon I grew weary of the legalism they were instilling on their congregation. I thirst for more than just the word but seeing the word lived through lifestyle and not just meaning that we only could wear skirts and coo-lots. I meant I wanted a DEEEEP understanding of God. I wanted to know what it was like living my "all" for Him.
I searched years to find a church home where I was able to develop that intimacy with God. I wandered through several churches where I had a deep feeling that people were just "fake" like they were acting spiritually within the church and then returning home to their lives and doing things that were completely nonspiritual. They didn't realize how disturbing it was to me to see that when I HUNGERED!for the truth. Even my "now" fiance could tell you that the truth was not being taught the way it should have. However God brought me to an understanding in the midst of those churches that I needed to have a relationship with Him outside of church that would help me discern things. It all happened because of my grandma in North Carolina. My grandma was a fan of Benny Hinn who to me didn't seem like he was "all that". She also liked to read books and had a huge collection of the Left Behind Series and Frank Perretti books. I loved her books I would drool over them anytime I was around them. My grandma knew how much I loved her books so she shipped them to me one day not to long ago. When I opened up the cigarette smoke filled pages of Frank Peretti's "This Present Darkness" my eyes were wide opened... not only because I was reading but my eyes were also opened spiritually. This was the time I understood what spiritual warfare was this was the time where I was ready to do battle with Satan. This was the time I laid in my bed with my tongue sticking out asking for God to allow any gift of the spirit He wanted in my life to be put into my life. And so it was! I went to one of those churches I mentioned before... and although things weren't right I was so it didn't matter... God used me! He used me to pray over people and He showed me things in their lives to pray about. Many people didn't realize that when I was younger I started seeing demons... I didn't realize what I was seeing until I read my grandma's books. I didn't realize how much power God gives us to battle Satan. It is a battlefield out there! God gives us the ability to speak to Him in "code" so that He can help us fight off the enemy. That is what speaking in tongues is really about not casting down people but casting down the work of the enemy in peoples lives. I am 27 now and twenty years have gotten me to this point. When I was seven at that church where I learned God's word I gave my heart to Christ. Since then I've been hungry... it is great to finally be satisfied in the Holy Spirit.

John 6:35,51
"And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst…. I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world."

Share the Blood

Romans 3:13-18
13 “Their talk is foul, like the stench from an open grave.
Their tongues are filled with lies.”
“Snake venom drips from their lips.”
14 “Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.”
15 “They rush to commit murder.
16 Destruction and misery always follow them.
17 They don’t know where to find peace.”
18 “They have no fear of God at all.”

I was reading my bible and praying today about the situation I've dealt with this past week. I was crying out to God because I wanted to stay in this job and make an impact in my boss' life. My whole family, my friends, and Johnny's family were all praying for her especially to come to salvation. It's very hard to not feel bitterness when someone shows bitterness toward you for no reason. One thing my dad used to pray on my way to work every morning was "We have 'all' sinned and fallen short of the glory of God". I feel as Christians sometimes we are quick to think we have it all under control and there are no problems that need fixing... instead we try to fix everyone else.
Tonight as I was praying about the bitterness "in my life" and releasing it to God... He showed me this scripture in Romans chapter 3. A scripture I memorized when I was 7 years old was "For we all have fallen short of the glory of God there is no one righteous no not one". I prayed God to forgive me for the bitterness I had for my boss and for other people who have hurt me. When He showed me this scripture I thought woah this describes exactly what I was dealing with all these months and praying over every morning before work. Just then my eyes slide down the scriptures... and realized that it said... and Christ died for them. It didn't just say... Christ died it said He poured out His blood. The person I was bitter toward who wont except God and hates me because I have God in my life is bitter... but God forgave her and He died for her also on that cross. So tonight I'm releasing bitterness toward her and holding her to the cross to be drenched in His blood... crying out thank You Lord and praying for Him to forgive me for not seeing that THIS ONE He gave His blood for also.

So tonight I'm holding her up for Your blood to pour out onto her Lord that she would receive Grace... I'm trading this bitterness in for Grace heal my heart bind my wounds help me to pray for her daily. In Jesus name Amen!

continuing on in Romans 3
25 For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past, 26 for he was looking ahead and including them in what he would do in this present time. God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just, and he declares sinners to be right in his sight when they believe in Jesus.

27 Can we boast, then, that we have done anything to be accepted by God? No, because our acquittal is not based on obeying the law. It is based on faith. 28 So we are made right with God through faith and not by obeying the law.


P.S. If you feel bitterness or unforgiveness in your heart today toward someone... let it rest under the blood of Christ and soak in His grace. Feel free to message me if you have an specific needs for prayer. Love you all!

Agent Identify Yourself

Hebrews 10:24-25
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

This morning I woke up with a to-do list for God. Everyone knows when God gives us a to-do list we better listen because people have gotten swallowed by whales and cast into the wilderness for not obeying God. I tend to have this meh what will people think of me mentality sometimes when I get my to-do list. God wants everyone to know that when we follow Him that's "all" that matters and He'll work it all out if you don't believe me read Romans 8:28. Not saying it's gonna be rainbows and butterflies... if you want more on persecution and standing against the crowd I have past blogs on that also. This blog is about what happened with the to-do list God gave me this morning. So I did it... I did exactly what He asked me to do and I was like okay God what now? And God spoke a word over me... one word; catalyst. Just then I felt the presence of God fill me up. It was a sort of pride but not so much a worldly pride. I felt like God just identified me! One word... and I had "no idea" what it meant. I remembered something about catalysts from chemistry class way way back in high school but I didn't think of myself as a chemical reaction so I looked it up on google. I got this;
3.
a person or thing that precipitates an event or change: His imprisonment by the government served as the catalyst that helped transform social unrest into revolution.
4
a person whose talk, enthusiasm, or energy causes others to be more friendly, enthusiastic, or energetic.

The fourth definition really woke me up because lately I've been feeling like my attitude doesn't always match my heart. My heart loves people it get's excited and wants people to get excited about good things also. However, these last couple rainy days haven't exactly left me feeling enthusiastic. I also felt well God that doesn't exactly tell me what I am going to do but it gives me an identity for now.

Have you ever watched a spy movie and half the time the spy does what he does without being briefed and just goes with the flow because that's what they were trained to do? Well God trained me... and He wants to train you. God wants to give you a secret name like "come in eagle one report your position". In the military we are given names to protect us from the enemy knowing our past or any other form of identification. God gives us a name so the enemy knows who we are in His mind. That may or may not make our mission easier but it definitely will be useful. We need to become who God calls us to be. We have a special mission here on Earth and may not always get the direct contact with the Base but we need to be well trained and ready for what comes. The only way to do this is to put on the full armor of God. That is what we can find in Ephesians 6. I've also done blogs on it in the past if you would just prefer to dive into archives. So keep strong and get training and know who you are. You are a special agent with a mission.

2 Peter 1:3
His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence,

Down to Earth

WARNING: We need to stop covering what's wrong sometime the bandaid is going to have to come off and it's going to hurt

1 Peter 3:11
Let him turn away from wickedness and shun it, and let him do right. Let him search for peace (harmony; undisturbedness from fears, agitating passions, and moral conflicts) and seek it eagerly. [Do not merely desire peaceful relations with God, with your fellowmen, and with yourself, but pursue, go after them!]

I like the Amplified version of the scripture above because it lists the positive things we ought to be replacing negative things with. One of those things was moral conflicts. It doesn't explain to run away from moral conflict but to seek it eagerly. A lot of people look at the way I view things and judge me. They feel I live with my head in the clouds and I need to come down to earth. They feel I should get to know the world more and all the current events. It's come to the point where I just do not fit in with the world anymore. You go to a professional establishment into the break room in a public school and the teachers talk about which bar or night club they are going to.

You walk down the street and hear young girls talking about what guy they are gonna be sleeping with tonight. You hang around the corner at your favorite pizza place and you overhear guys and girls joking around about using sex toys or looking at porn. The "world" has been desensitized to "sin". They feel that everything they do now is just the "norm".

They look at me like I'm some crazy person that I don't get into this stuff. They think me even being "against" it is me "imposing" my beliefs on them. They all feel that if God loves them they should be able to do whatever they want because God gives us "free choice" (YEAH I WENT THERE!).

Whatever you believe you believe... I feel bad because people are just blindfolded to the truth today. There are so many hardened hearts to experience the TRUE love that God has for them. The TRUE peace that we can live in is unrecognizable to people today.

Even the church is afraid to preach this stuff because they don't want to step on toes. They are afraid to stick up for the gospel because they feel the world needs something a little more "up to date". I even am seeing churches now hosting haunted houses???? The last time I checked Halloween was Satan's holiday so what purpose does that have in the house of God? Same thing with pastors who conduct gay marriage (Yeah I went there also). I'm just saying people don't judge me cuz I wont blind myself to the truth to fit in. I DON'T WANT TO GET DOWN TO EARTH! These clouds are fine to keep my head in because here I have a clearer perspective of Heavenly things and the things that honor God. I don't live for the world I live for Him. It is time we stop saying we are Christian if we are just going to go around doing worldly things. Christianity should be taken more seriously and not just worn as a jersey you wear to sport your favorite team. Get into action and get into the game. Most of all get into God's word and open your eyes to the truth!

Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

What's Gonna Work: Teamwork!

Galatians 6:2
Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.


God has been showing me lately that it is important to let others know we are there for them when they are going through storms. Not only is it important to be here for our church family and our actual family but it is also important to be there for people who would never step foot inside a church or even peer at a scripture. When I think of this scripture I think of Jesus carrying the cross to his crucifixion. When I think of the law of Christ I remember that Jesus didn't carry that burden for his disciples only nor his family only... Jesus carried that burden for EVERYONE.

I love everyone and I like to help everyone. Sometimes people don't need my help though and the only thing I can do is pray for them. However, if we all helped each other just think of how much happier this world would be. I hear of missions trips where people come back with a whole new perspective on life because over in other countries people are humble enough to accept help from others. When people in villages help each other with their burdens it brings joy. Even in the US there are families that help each other out. Yet in our own church we hardly even do that. Single unwed moms are sometimes looked down on and instead of a person asking to help by volunteering to watch the kids they usually look at the mom and judge her for not having it all together. Even the parents who don't seem to have control over their kids when they are really trying their hardest. I feel for parents in today's society it is so hard to raise your own children with everyone else trying to tell you how to do it and with all the negative influences you can not control them getting into. We need to pray for families and not judge them. We need to pray for politicians and stop acting like if we were in office we'd solve all the problems. WE can carry each others burdens by showing support and praying. If someone asks for help ... help them! If someone gets in a wreck and you are good at fixing cars why not do the labor for free (which my friend's church member did for her and she was so blessed by it). It is way better to give than receive so why not help each other out? If Christ sacrificed all He did for us can't we do something for someone also?

A Christian ought not to judge someone they ought to help them carry their burden. Just a few Sunday's ago my friend Pastor Jim from Hope Christian Church was talking about how the number one reason why people wont become Christians is because they know one. He's right though. As Christian's what do we do? We judge ... and we point fingers and yet we aren't perfect ourselves! Do we really offer to help carry people's burdens? Even if they say no we can still pray for their burdens to be eased. There are billions of burdened people out there looking for hope and a helping hand.

It warms my heart to find churches that help each other in the congregation out as well as people within the community. Unfortunately, lately I feel like Paul writing this blog because I've found only a handful of biblically founded churches in Connecticut so far that even helps people in their congregation. And even less that help people in their community... and even less than that that help people in the world. We need to start carrying the burden for one another not only at church or through church but EVERYDAY in EVERYWAY.

Keep strong, keep in the scriptures, keep reaching out. Remember we represent Christ and we should be willing to go the extra mile to do what He lived to do.

2 Corinthians 5:20
So we are the representatives of Christ, as if God was making a request to you through us: we make our request to you, in the name of Christ, be at peace with God.

A True Love Story

Psalms 146:3-4
Do not put your trust in princes, in mortals, in whom there is no help. When their breath departs, they return to the earth; on that very day their plans perish.

Ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of someday meeting my prince charming and the troubles of the world would just fade away as I got swept off to a magically land full of butterflies and rainbows. I even loved books about going off to magical places where things were different. My parents used to read us books about Narnia and my brother and I would pretend we lived there. Perhaps that's why I loved playing in the woods as a young child. Perhaps that's also why my favorite book series when I was a little girl was called Alice in Bibleland. I wanted so much to go back into biblical times with my white cat like Alice and walk beside Jesus. There was only one prince in this story series that I loved and wanted to marry someday. Jesus was real to me as a little child but somehow as the years past I felt He got put on my back burner. I felt as if I was looking for something more down to earth... something a little more physical.

That's when the boyfriends started happening. My dad wouldn't allow me to date yet but there were boys at school that I sat next to who would carry my books who I would pay particular attention to. Actually I began to pay more attention to boys than to God. I was never happy and I lost that joy I had as a young child. Until about a year or two ago when I began to come back into the full perspective.

My mom and dad love God they've always been spiritual cheerleaders in my life even when I didn't want them to be. My dad would always tell me when I was crying because my heart was broken by a guy that I should just learn to be happy enough with Jesus. It was soooo hard. I was a mess I felt like I "needed" a guy in my life to make me happy. However after being used and abused by most men I became associated with other than my dad I broke. I HAD to rely on God if I wanted to keep going and discover who I was all over again through Him. It was definitely a process and somehow I would up with a few snakes on the path. But there was always Jesus right there to pick me up and crush those snakes under His heal. Soon I felt like I was slowly coming out of a comatose. I began to realize who I was in Christ again... I began to realize I had worth and God viewed me as beautiful. Even when my parents made the mistake of bringing up my past and explaining their lack of trust in me God never did instead He showed me Jesus. That is how I came "out".

The story doesn't just end there God gifted me with a wonderful man who loves me like Jesus did. A few days ago my parents (being parents) said what would you ever do if Johnny (my fiance) ever broke up with you. I reminded them that I was used to a broken heart and that I would just pick up and carry onward to whatever God had for me elsewhere. However, God has given me a sense of security in this relationship that I've never found before and Satan would be the only one who could try to take that away and we all know Satan can't win over God.

Yet, even with Johnny in my life now ... Jesus is still my first love I still stand in awe of Him and love to dance in His presence at the feet of His throne. I love to bask in His glory and feel the hem of His garment and it's overpowering strength.

If you are where I was and every night you cry tears into your pillow waiting for the man of your dreams to step in and wondering when he will get there, take time to get to know yourself through God's eyes and realize how much He loves you.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.