This "was" who I had become...
2 Thessalonians 3:10-12
10For while we were yet with you, we gave you this rule and charge: If anyone will not work, neither let him eat. 11Indeed, we hear that some among you are disorderly [that they are passing their lives in idleness, neglectful of duty], being busy with other people's affairs instead of their own and doing no work. 12Now we charge and exhort such persons [as [a]ministers in Him exhorting those] in the Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah) that they work in quietness and earn their own food and other necessities.
I'm sure you've read by now in the "meet the author" blurb on the side here that I used to have a ministry in a game called Second Life. There were several reasons I quit this "game" and today I feel it is right to reveal all of them so that others will realize it and not get dragged in like I was.
I started playing when my ex boyfriend (who desperately needs a lot of "mental" healing) introduced me to it. I like it because it gave me a way to get out of my dysfunctional life and look like I want, do what I want, and even fly. Even after I finally dumped my abusive ex-boyfriend I couldn't stop the addiction of being on Second Life. I completely justified my reasons for playing the game stating that I was running a women's ministry. However, the things I was doing on that game even in front of the women I was ministering to were not honoring God. I was going around judging everyone and even gossiping about other people. I was also neglecting several important things in my real life.
It was hard for me to just quit and say I'm not going back. Second Life was my outlet I thought to a lot of my problems. It gave me a place to go where I could just get away (temporarily) or did it? Because when I logged off I was still faced with problems ... sometimes even more problems. The things that went into my mind from that game I carried out into my life. Soon I was having problems with gossiping outside of the game. I was judging people outside the game also... and was I living a perfect lifestyle? I was certainly trying but gossiping and judging is a sin as much as the people I was judging were sinning. I remembered the scripture about pointing to a speck in someone's eye when you have a plank in your own. Soon I began to feel the freedom of being away from Second Life. Even my friends began to see a difference in me. I was not even sure who I was but I was determined in who I wanted to be and that I would not go back to who I had been.
It wasn't like my life got any easier though. I still had all the same problems and then some. It seems Satan likes to attack you the most when you are on the right path. I did my student teaching and passed school by the skin of my teeth. I graduated and passed my Praxis tests. I wasn't able to past just one test I need for my certification though. So I looked for a job that I could do without it. I had two wonderful amazing jobs but obviously they weren't meant to be.
Now that I'm unemployed and have so much free time. I also have stressed out people all around me who do not mean to take it out on anyone around them but they do. So I have been basically living in my room if I'm not out with Johnny or watching a movie with my family (when everything is calm). I am "not" liking everyone asking about work... even though they can't help it. In my own stress Satan lies to me and tells me that I should go back on Second Life and distract myself. Then I am like what you really are going to do that after God delivered you from it? You really want to go back and mess up your life all over again? I'm like no that "was" me I am a new creation now... all that is buried and done with. There are more important things in my life now I have friends actual Christian girlfriends who encourage me and I encourage them and we pray for each other. I have a fiance who also keeps me encouraged. My cat is even spending more time with me. And when my family is not stressed out and they are approachable I have them also. Life is way better even if it has it's valleys and it's storms. I am happy that I'm not into that anymore. I am expecting God for a job and I'm expecting to return to helping others in a way that God has called me to in person... face to face.
26A new heart will I give you and a new spirit will I put within you, and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.
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