A True Love Story

Psalms 146:3-4
Do not put your trust in princes, in mortals, in whom there is no help. When their breath departs, they return to the earth; on that very day their plans perish.

Ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of someday meeting my prince charming and the troubles of the world would just fade away as I got swept off to a magically land full of butterflies and rainbows. I even loved books about going off to magical places where things were different. My parents used to read us books about Narnia and my brother and I would pretend we lived there. Perhaps that's why I loved playing in the woods as a young child. Perhaps that's also why my favorite book series when I was a little girl was called Alice in Bibleland. I wanted so much to go back into biblical times with my white cat like Alice and walk beside Jesus. There was only one prince in this story series that I loved and wanted to marry someday. Jesus was real to me as a little child but somehow as the years past I felt He got put on my back burner. I felt as if I was looking for something more down to earth... something a little more physical.

That's when the boyfriends started happening. My dad wouldn't allow me to date yet but there were boys at school that I sat next to who would carry my books who I would pay particular attention to. Actually I began to pay more attention to boys than to God. I was never happy and I lost that joy I had as a young child. Until about a year or two ago when I began to come back into the full perspective.

My mom and dad love God they've always been spiritual cheerleaders in my life even when I didn't want them to be. My dad would always tell me when I was crying because my heart was broken by a guy that I should just learn to be happy enough with Jesus. It was soooo hard. I was a mess I felt like I "needed" a guy in my life to make me happy. However after being used and abused by most men I became associated with other than my dad I broke. I HAD to rely on God if I wanted to keep going and discover who I was all over again through Him. It was definitely a process and somehow I would up with a few snakes on the path. But there was always Jesus right there to pick me up and crush those snakes under His heal. Soon I felt like I was slowly coming out of a comatose. I began to realize who I was in Christ again... I began to realize I had worth and God viewed me as beautiful. Even when my parents made the mistake of bringing up my past and explaining their lack of trust in me God never did instead He showed me Jesus. That is how I came "out".

The story doesn't just end there God gifted me with a wonderful man who loves me like Jesus did. A few days ago my parents (being parents) said what would you ever do if Johnny (my fiance) ever broke up with you. I reminded them that I was used to a broken heart and that I would just pick up and carry onward to whatever God had for me elsewhere. However, God has given me a sense of security in this relationship that I've never found before and Satan would be the only one who could try to take that away and we all know Satan can't win over God.

Yet, even with Johnny in my life now ... Jesus is still my first love I still stand in awe of Him and love to dance in His presence at the feet of His throne. I love to bask in His glory and feel the hem of His garment and it's overpowering strength.

If you are where I was and every night you cry tears into your pillow waiting for the man of your dreams to step in and wondering when he will get there, take time to get to know yourself through God's eyes and realize how much He loves you.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.

When Life Rains on Your Parade Make Mud Pies!

James 1:12 AMP
12Blessed (happy, [a]to be envied) is the man who is patient under trial and stands up under temptation, for when he has stood the test and been approved, he will receive [the victor's] crown of life which God has promised to those who love Him.

The other day I was stuck in a big puddle of self pity and it seemed like life and worry was raining down hard on me. It was a day when I was working with the kids and it was raining out. I was so tired of the rain I brought the kids outside. The rain wasn't that bad anyway. The kids were enjoying making mud in the sandbox.

Anyone who knows me knows I have something called Seasonal Affective Disorder. When it rains it is very hard for me to not get sad or discouraged. Most of the time I get so depressed I do not like to get out of bed. However, children always seem to cheer me up and I'm always out the door for work. You could say that children bring sunshine to my rainy days. To think looking out a window in your life thinking those are some dark clouds when is the sun going to come out. Children have a way of having fun despite the dark clouds that linger above. They are ready for anything and always ready to make the best of any situation. A few of the kids were like we can't be outside it's raining. I was like it was a few raindrops and it wasn't down pouring... I spoke too soon because just then it began to rain harder. I asked the kids if they wanted to go inside and none of them did instead we spent a good hour in that rain making sand castles and mud pies.

So often we look at things in with an adult perspective... when will the sun come out? We forget that we can praise God in any storm we face... even if it isn't picture perfect weather. I love the song Bring the Rain by MercyMe. I have been waiting and waiting for a job and to be honest it hasn't been easy... I've been graduated since December just waiting to hear someone will keep me full time. I tried being a head teacher but that didn't quite work out and so I decided I'd start of smaller and a little more humble as a teacher in a Head Start program. Even I had doubt they would hire me and that day I posted Bring the Rain on my profile I was thinking of posting that song Praise You in This Storm. However, I wanted God to know I was okay with the rain also if that was what He wanted.

Trials teach us things they grow us in strength and perseverance. They also teach us to wait patiently on God. I wanted God to see that I can be happy in any situation and that when the rain comes I'm going to make MUD PIES!

Romans 8:17

17And if we are [His] children, then we are [His] heirs also: heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ [sharing His inheritance with Him]; only we must share His suffering if we are to share His glory.

Who's Got Your Tongue?

James 1:19
19 Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry.

You know those moments when you are caught in the emotion of being hurt or offended and your mouth just goes BLUUUUUUUUUUURP? Then afterwards you are like what did I just do? I didn't mean to say that! Oh if only we could take back every idle word that came from our mouths. I'm not actually writing this as a warning. I'm trying to let you know that we get offended because we are human. Most of us who read this are women. Women are very emotional creatures and that is just how God created us. He created us to be like Him in that regard.

However, God knows when it is wise to say something to someone. Usually when God tells people something it is to benefit them and it's for their growth. God is an emotional God but thankfully He doesn't react from His emotions out of impulse.

As an English major in college I had to read several puritanical pieces of literature. The one that stuck out to me most was the poem "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God". As a Christian it just didn't make sense. Why would the loving Father who created us to be His companions want to destroy us? Then what would the purpose of Jesus dying on the cross be? It just didn't make sense that God was so caught in His emotions that He would destroy humans just because of sin that He already is stronger than. I don't believe that for a second. I believe what John 3:16 says, God loves us so He sent His Son to die for us. I know you feel I'm getting off the subject of speaking idle words I guess what I'm trying to prove is God doesn't speak idle words. When we speak God's word over situations that upset us or frustrate the heck out of us... or even just offend us we are winning over the plot of the enemy because God's words are not idle.

Whoever heard or read anything that Satan has said that was not idle? Satan is the king of idle words... and whenever we give into those bluuurps we are acting from fear, frustration, hurt, envy, anger. All these things are not of God. What is of God should keep us reassured of His peace and keep us calm knowing we have already won the fight. Galatians 5 will tell you exactly what kinds of things we should be putting on to keep us from bluuuuuurping the words we don't mean. It's not easy of course it's not easy because it means we have to struggle with our flesh. The tongue is the most powerful muscle in our bodies. The bible is right though, out of the mouth comes the abundance of the heart. When we speak from the hurt in our hearts we hurt people. When we speak from peace and healing God can do amazing things.

I don't know about you but I'm ready for a change. I'm ready for God to have the control of my tongue and my heart and for it to be filled with powerful wonderful blessings instead of the idle words that Satan wants to use to destroy. We are not sinners in the hands of an angry God we are sinners in the hands of a merciful Savior who can change even the coldest darkest heart into a heart of pure joy and peace. He also can change the sharpest deadliest tongue into a vessel of light and truth.

James 3
James 3
1NOT MANY [of you] should become teachers ([a]self-constituted censors and reprovers of others), my brethren, for you know that we [teachers] will be judged by a higher standard and with greater severity [than other people; thus we assume the greater accountability and the more condemnation].

2For we all often stumble and fall and offend in many things. And if anyone does not offend in speech [never says the wrong things], he is a fully developed character and a perfect man, able to control his whole body and to curb his entire nature.

3If we set bits in the horses' mouths to make them obey us, we can turn their whole bodies about.

4Likewise, look at the ships: though they are so great and are driven by rough winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the impulse of the helmsman determines.

5Even so the tongue is a little member, and it can boast of great things. See how much wood or how great a forest a tiny spark can set ablaze!

6And the tongue is a fire. [The tongue is a] world of wickedness set among our members, contaminating and depraving the whole body and setting on fire the wheel of birth (the cycle of man's nature), being itself ignited by hell (Gehenna).

7For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea animal, can be tamed and has been tamed by human genius (nature).

8But the human tongue can be tamed by no man. It is a restless (undisciplined, irreconcilable) evil, full of deadly poison.

9With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse men who were made in God's likeness!

10Out of the same mouth come forth blessing and cursing. These things, my brethren, ought not to be so.

11Does a fountain send forth [simultaneously] from the same opening fresh water and bitter?

12Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine figs? Neither can a salt spring furnish fresh water.

13Who is there among you who is wise and intelligent? Then let him by his noble living show forth his [good] works with the [unobtrusive] humility [which is the proper attribute] of true wisdom.

14But if you have bitter jealousy (envy) and contention (rivalry, selfish ambition) in your hearts, do not pride yourselves on it and thus be in defiance of and false to the Truth.

15This [superficial] wisdom is not such as comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual (animal), even devilish (demoniacal).

16For wherever there is jealousy (envy) and contention (rivalry and selfish ambition), there will also be confusion (unrest, disharmony, rebellion) and all sorts of evil and vile practices.

17But the wisdom from above is first of all pure (undefiled); then it is peace-loving, courteous (considerate, gentle). [It is willing to] yield to reason, full of compassion and good fruits; it is wholehearted and straightforward, impartial and unfeigned (free from doubts, wavering, and insincerity).

18And the harvest of righteousness (of conformity to God's will in thought and deed) is [the fruit of the seed] sown in peace by those who work for and make peace [in themselves and in others, that peace which means concord, agreement, and harmony between individuals, with undisturbedness, in a peaceful mind free from fears and agitating passions and moral conflicts].

The DL on SL

This "was" who I had become...

2 Thessalonians 3:10-12

10For while we were yet with you, we gave you this rule and charge: If anyone will not work, neither let him eat. 11Indeed, we hear that some among you are disorderly [that they are passing their lives in idleness, neglectful of duty], being busy with other people's affairs instead of their own and doing no work. 12Now we charge and exhort such persons [as [a]ministers in Him exhorting those] in the Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah) that they work in quietness and earn their own food and other necessities.

I'm sure you've read by now in the "meet the author" blurb on the side here that I used to have a ministry in a game called Second Life. There were several reasons I quit this "game" and today I feel it is right to reveal all of them so that others will realize it and not get dragged in like I was.

I started playing when my ex boyfriend (who desperately needs a lot of "mental" healing) introduced me to it. I like it because it gave me a way to get out of my dysfunctional life and look like I want, do what I want, and even fly. Even after I finally dumped my abusive ex-boyfriend I couldn't stop the addiction of being on Second Life. I completely justified my reasons for playing the game stating that I was running a women's ministry. However, the things I was doing on that game even in front of the women I was ministering to were not honoring God. I was going around judging everyone and even gossiping about other people. I was also neglecting several important things in my real life.

It was hard for me to just quit and say I'm not going back. Second Life was my outlet I thought to a lot of my problems. It gave me a place to go where I could just get away (temporarily) or did it? Because when I logged off I was still faced with problems ... sometimes even more problems. The things that went into my mind from that game I carried out into my life. Soon I was having problems with gossiping outside of the game. I was judging people outside the game also... and was I living a perfect lifestyle? I was certainly trying but gossiping and judging is a sin as much as the people I was judging were sinning. I remembered the scripture about pointing to a speck in someone's eye when you have a plank in your own. Soon I began to feel the freedom of being away from Second Life. Even my friends began to see a difference in me. I was not even sure who I was but I was determined in who I wanted to be and that I would not go back to who I had been.
It wasn't like my life got any easier though. I still had all the same problems and then some. It seems Satan likes to attack you the most when you are on the right path. I did my student teaching and passed school by the skin of my teeth. I graduated and passed my Praxis tests. I wasn't able to past just one test I need for my certification though. So I looked for a job that I could do without it. I had two wonderful amazing jobs but obviously they weren't meant to be.
Now that I'm unemployed and have so much free time. I also have stressed out people all around me who do not mean to take it out on anyone around them but they do. So I have been basically living in my room if I'm not out with Johnny or watching a movie with my family (when everything is calm). I am "not" liking everyone asking about work... even though they can't help it. In my own stress Satan lies to me and tells me that I should go back on Second Life and distract myself. Then I am like what you really are going to do that after God delivered you from it? You really want to go back and mess up your life all over again? I'm like no that "was" me I am a new creation now... all that is buried and done with. There are more important things in my life now I have friends actual Christian girlfriends who encourage me and I encourage them and we pray for each other. I have a fiance who also keeps me encouraged. My cat is even spending more time with me. And when my family is not stressed out and they are approachable I have them also. Life is way better even if it has it's valleys and it's storms. I am happy that I'm not into that anymore. I am expecting God for a job and I'm expecting to return to helping others in a way that God has called me to in person... face to face.

Ezekiel 36:26
26A new heart will I give you and a new spirit will I put within you, and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

The Bride Complex

"So The Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh; and the rib which The Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." (Genesis 2:21-23 RSV)

So I'm engaged and of course I'm excited to be planning my wedding. However, there have been a few things along the way that I'm not so very fond of right now. For example, why is it that the worldly view of weddings is that the main focus is on the bride? Even the song which plays "here comes the bride" makes everyone focus on the bride. All these television shows say yes to the dress and other things. They all make it seem like the whole wedding day is "just" to make the "bride" happy. Whatever happened to the idea that weddings symbolize a bigger picture. Think of the bride of Christ? We are going to be taken with Him in unity!!! As the bride of Christ we are His helpmates... that is our responsibility. We don't focus all our attention on ourselves as the bride of Christ and Christ doesn't focus all of the attention on Him either. It's about relationship our relationship with Him for God's glory.

The body of Christ makes up the bride of Christ. We need to look at our relationships also as the body of Christ. Yes the man is suppose to be the spiritual head. Why not? He was created first and women have a tendency to be ran by their emotions and not so much by their logic. It's just God's smart way of doing it. However we are important too in the body of Christ. We as women have qualities that men do not possess that they need help with and men have qualities that women posses that they need. I believe the important thing is that even though the man is the the relationship t we don't forget that we have a function also. We aren't bound with rope we are able to help. Being a helpmate is a great responsibility and is very important for the relationship to keep it strong. Both a man and a woman are needed to make a marriage work to glorify God. Therefore, let's celebrate that!

The same is for our spouse. Our identity was originally created from him. We were made from man so that we know that we together are "complete".

The following is something that I came across many years ago:

Woman was created from the rib of man.
She was not created from his head to be above him
Nor was she created from his foot to be trampled by him
She was taken from his side to be his equal,
From beneath his arm to be protected by him,
From near his heart to be loved by him.

This is exactly why we need to realize that our wedding should be about our unity. It is not just about the bride it is about two people coming together with a purpose ordained by God. Marriage is a ministry it is not something to be just a show for people it requires intense work and dedication but most of all it requires commitment and unity of the heart.

I hope the next time you look at the man you want to marry you will realize what it's really about and refocus your marriage on Him together.

“Two are better off than one, because
they can work more effectively. If one of
them falls down, the other can help him
up…Two people can resist an attack that
defeats one person alone. A rope made
up of three cords is hard to break”
(Ecclesiastes 4:9,12)

He's Got You Covered!

1 Timothy 2:9
"And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes."

It's summer time! So before you go out that door let's think about what we are wearing and why are we wearing it? In a society where they charge you an arm and a leg for something that doesn't even cover an arm or a leg it is hard to see why we stand to be societies manicins. I admit that in summer time it is not sensible to wear as much clothing as we would in other seasons. However, it doesn't make sense for our bodies to be exposed in front of our "admirers" also. That's right I went there! I am female and I know that when we females put on clothes we often think of what we would wear to impress the opposite sex. Am I wrong?

Okay so God made a person out there for you and they are going to think you are beautiful no matter what you wear... or don't wear. That person will be your husband and until that person comes along GIRL YOU BETTER COVER YOURSELF! Why would you try to lure in the wolves if that is not the kind of creature you want to spend the rest of your life with? By honoring your body you are not only honoring God but you are honoring your husband. In Proverbs 31:12 it says a virtuous wife honors her husband all the days of her life. That means now also even if he's not even in the picture. So let's think twice about leting society chose what we are wearing today.

Picture Hollywood and the red carpet... and picture what they are wearing? Do you realize those poor people are slaves to society and slaves to a sexual culture? I don't know about you but I do "not" think that is beautiful. I feel bad for those people. I would rather live in "holy would" then Hollywood. If I wanna be holy would I wear that?

It's all a matter of the heart... is your heart in the world or is your heart focused on God? Most Christians do not get along with Muslims but I respect them. I have a friend that I admire greatly. She wears a hijab (head-dress) and when I asked her why she does (because she's cool like that and let's me ask questions) she said that God's word for her (the Koran) tells her that she should wear it in respect for God. Covering her head is her way of showing respect to God so she does it. So why aren't we showing respect to God? Our bible tells us how to dress also but maybe people don't realize that. My friend is very modest but is she goregous? OOOOOOH yeah she's the kind of girl that has green eyes and a beautiful face but her eyes are what pulls you in because they are so full of beauty and light. I don't know about you but I am a sucker for when my boyfriend stares in my eyes and tells me how beautiful I am. I've had guys give me "elevator eyes" and tell me I'm hot but it is totally not the same.

When I get up in the morning sure I think about what I am wearing and yes I do try to look prettyful for my guy but first and foremost I realize I am a Princess of the King and as such I represent Him. I want to represent Him in a beautiful way being modest. I live according to God not according to the world.

1 Peter 2:12 NLT
"Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world."

Open Your Eyes!

Matthew 7:1
Do not judge others, and you will not be judged

It's just been a heaviness on my heart lately how sometimes even in churches people are looking for perfection. I feel that if we are all looking for perfect people then why do we call ourselves Christ followers? Jesus went to people who were far from perfect and healed them. God chose people who had issues far before Jesus was even on the earth. All the GREAT people in the bible were people who had REAL issues who God changed.

This past week I attended two churches because I had gone camping Sunday and attended church there then attended the church I am a member at on Wed. night. Both churches talked about the blind men who were healed. However the service I attended while camping explained how Paul was blinded by God before his life was transformed by God. Paul for those of you who don't know was a really wicked person before God transformed him. Paul actually killed Christians. When God struck Paul and blinded him it was for not only him to see his life differently but it was for others to start seeing him differently. I am SURE that when Paul was healed by God and started serving God people were wondering "what" was going on. I am sure a lot of them still didn't trust Paul. However, they didn't realize that is the way God works. He takes the broken, past burdened people, and transforms them and uses their testimonies and passionate hearts to save lives.

The story that my home pastor preached on last night was talking about two blind men who were begging for healing from Jesus. The disciples actually told them to be quiet but they refused. When Jesus had compassion on them and healed them they followed him and began to walk amongst the ones that were trying to shush them. Just another testimony of God's power to decide who out of the outcasts will serve Him.

One of my friends got tired of people judging her for her past all the time. She finally went back to the church that she grew up in and went to in her youth. Instead of judging her for her past they took her in and welcomed her with open arms. They knew she had issues but they wanted to remind her that God can still use her. Their compassion helped transform her life. She was unable to get a job because of her criminal background but they looked past that also and offered her a job using her gift in a Christian camp. She has been cared for and not cast out and in return God is using her this summer to touch the lives of youth. She will in return for the compassion that was put on her make sure that she helps any young girl to stay on the right path and not be led astray. God is going to use her in mighty ways!

So the next time you see a person in church who looks a little out of sorts remind yourself that they just might be God's next great warrior. They just might have the hope of hundreds in their heart. They could reach people and transform lives. Don't be blind to who God can use! Open your eyes and open your heart!

"A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. And I will put My Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in My Statutes, and ye shall keep My Judgments, and do them... Without Me ye can do nothing"
(Ezekiel 36:26-27; John 15:5)