Do not put your trust in princes, in mortals, in whom there is no help. When their breath departs, they return to the earth; on that very day their plans perish.
Ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of someday meeting my prince charming and the troubles of the world would just fade away as I got swept off to a magically land full of butterflies and rainbows. I even loved books about going off to magical places where things were different. My parents used to read us books about Narnia and my brother and I would pretend we lived there. Perhaps that's why I loved playing in the woods as a young child. Perhaps that's also why my favorite book series when I was a little girl was called Alice in Bibleland. I wanted so much to go back into biblical times with my white cat like Alice and walk beside Jesus. There was only one prince in this story series that I loved and wanted to marry someday. Jesus was real to me as a little child but somehow as the years past I felt He got put on my back burner. I felt as if I was looking for something more down to earth... something a little more physical.
That's when the boyfriends started happening. My dad wouldn't allow me to date yet but there were boys at school that I sat next to who would carry my books who I would pay particular attention to. Actually I began to pay more attention to boys than to God. I was never happy and I lost that joy I had as a young child. Until about a year or two ago when I began to come back into the full perspective.
My mom and dad love God they've always been spiritual cheerleaders in my life even when I didn't want them to be. My dad would always tell me when I was crying because my heart was broken by a guy that I should just learn to be happy enough with Jesus. It was soooo hard. I was a mess I felt like I "needed" a guy in my life to make me happy. However after being used and abused by most men I became associated with other than my dad I broke. I HAD to rely on God if I wanted to keep going and discover who I was all over again through Him. It was definitely a process and somehow I would up with a few snakes on the path. But there was always Jesus right there to pick me up and crush those snakes under His heal. Soon I felt like I was slowly coming out of a comatose. I began to realize who I was in Christ again... I began to realize I had worth and God viewed me as beautiful. Even when my parents made the mistake of bringing up my past and explaining their lack of trust in me God never did instead He showed me Jesus. That is how I came "out".
The story doesn't just end there God gifted me with a wonderful man who loves me like Jesus did. A few days ago my parents (being parents) said what would you ever do if Johnny (my fiance) ever broke up with you. I reminded them that I was used to a broken heart and that I would just pick up and carry onward to whatever God had for me elsewhere. However, God has given me a sense of security in this relationship that I've never found before and Satan would be the only one who could try to take that away and we all know Satan can't win over God.
Yet, even with Johnny in my life now ... Jesus is still my first love I still stand in awe of Him and love to dance in His presence at the feet of His throne. I love to bask in His glory and feel the hem of His garment and it's overpowering strength.
If you are where I was and every night you cry tears into your pillow waiting for the man of your dreams to step in and wondering when he will get there, take time to get to know yourself through God's eyes and realize how much He loves you.
For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.
No comments:
Post a Comment