Letting Go and Letting God

Psalm 66:3-4
3 Say to God, “How awesome are your deeds!
So great is your power
that your enemies cringe before you.
4 All the earth bows down to you;
they sing praise to you,
they sing the praises of your name.”

It is hard to be falsely accused of things. It is hard not to lash out with our words and redirect fingers at others when we have been accused of things. I have a problem with taking things personally. I don't internalize much of what people tell me because I don't absorb it. I know the bible says to guard my heart but I know it also tells me that I should watch what I say as well. I can't fight others accusations in anger.

Recently I went into a job thinking I was meant to go in and save the day. I was meant to turn chaos into calmness. However, things back fired and it seems things got worse. Parents started turning against me saying things that were not true. Even people I work with were saying things that were not true. I learned that no one knows what goes on in a classroom but you and God. However, if I didn't have people backing me up it wasn't worth the fight. So God packed my bags.

My boss said "you are just not cooperate". I completely agree. I am my own person I'm who God made me to be. I feel no shame in it either. Yet sometimes a square peg just doesn't fit into a round hole and no matter how much you try to jam it in... it will only create stress.

I can't do it all. I was talking to my best friend today at the beach about how no one can see the wind... but if you let the wind use something you can see it's there. I also reminded her that no one can see the Holy Spirit but if you let the Holy Spirit use you... others can see it. I feel that way also about our gifts. If no one let's us use our gifts no one will see they are there. I had a conversation with my boyfriend about not feeling used by God lately. I even had a conversation with my friend Dana at breakfast one day about how God's been telling me to keep my traveling shoes on because I feel He's got other plans for me elsewhere but I am not to certain where yet. I want to be used and I want to feel that Holy Spirit flowing through me like my soft purple head dress today that I "allowed" to flow in the wind. However, God wont start flowing through me until I allow Him to and give Him everything I touch completely.

God this is my life, these are my battles, these are my blessings... take it all into Your hands. Amen

Micah 7:8
8 Do not gloat over me, my enemy!
Though I have fallen, I will rise.
Though I sit in darkness,
the LORD will be my light.