The List

Jeremiah 32:19
19 great are your purposes and mighty are your deeds. Your eyes are open to the ways of all mankind; you reward each person according to their conduct and as their deeds deserve.

It's three days before Christmas and the children are all wondering what Santa left for them. Will it be a Xbox or a lump of coal? Unfortunately, most of these children will be getting whatever they asked for no matter if they were naughty or nice. Many Christians believe that God plays Santa and gives them things no matter how they live or act. While the wicked do prosper on earth many of us fail to see that our real treasures are stored up in Heaven. God's list is a lot more serious than Santa's.
So what will you be getting for Christmas? Will you be on God's naughty list or God's nice list? Maybe you are hoping for that new big screen HD television that you have been drooling over this last year. Well, although a big screen television is a great thing it is not something your soul or eternity in heaven will benefit from. The bible says "what good does it do a man to gain the whole world and loose his soul". Why are we so caught up with who is getting what? So much we are blinded to see what God has told us to do through His son. Jesus didn't come into the world looking for earthly riches. Jesus would have been top on Santa's nice list but did he get all the things his flesh desired? Jesus told us to look out for the widows and the orphans. Are we doing all that God wants us to do or are we just seeking the rewards the world has to offer "us". Think about it this year would you rather be on Santa's list or God's?

Revelation 20:15
If anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire.

Walking into Walls

Isaiah 59:9-10
Therefore justice is far from us,
Nor does righteousness overtake us;
We look for light, but there is darkness!
For brightness, but we walk in blackness!
10 We grope for the wall like the blind,
And we grope as if we had no eyes;
We stumble at noonday as at twilight;
We are as dead men in desolate places.

You ever feel left in the dark? Perhaps you've been searching for God to show you which door to go through yet you can't seem to find the handle in this dark world we live in? You aren't alone. I can't either but we have to keep believing that God is there through the darkness. We can not be consumed by the darkness we are living in today or we will just become blind like everyone else and start walking into walls. God will direct our steps when we walk in His light. However, sometimes it may be in the full light of noon that we ignore His voice and go another path. Soon we stumble and wonder what happened. God does want to keep us from stumbling but we must chose Him. We should not be living like dead men in desolate places. It is hard especially with the pressures of society but we can do it. Allow God to move you today. Listen to His word in your life and follow His instructions.
God "will" put walls in our way so we wont be able to move through doors without doing what He wants us to do first. In Isaiah 59 God told the people He would "redeem" them but they had to get out of their sins... the people still chose to walk in darkness. Are we choosing to listen to God today or will we just keep walking into walls?


Isaiah 59:8
8 The way of peace they have not known,
And there is no justice in their ways;
They have made themselves crooked paths;
Whoever takes that way shall not know peace.

Deep Sea Diving

Jeremiah 31:34b “...for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.”

Sometimes when I get very low I picture myself drowning in the ocean. I stare at the surface of the water and it is glistening and I see light but the further I sink the darker it gets and the colder I become. Last Saturday I was listening to Audio Adrenaline "Ocean Floor". It said "your sins are forgotten they're on the bottom of the ocean floor". Just then someone told me about how God casts our sins into the sea of forgiveness with no fishing signs... sometimes we go fishing... other times "other" people will go fishing there.
Have you ever had people shove your mistakes in your face? Have people brought up things that God already forgave you for? One of my biggest issues with people is when they go off with emotions then bring up every offense they've ever had toward me no matter how small it was. I do it too. The other day I was working out with my best friend and we were talking about something with her church then she said some words that brought up how angry I was toward a remember of her church who used to go there (and left). That was "years" ago and I was still letting it get to me... I realized I need to let go of that. One time I had an idea of writing down all my fears and issues on rocks and throwing them in the ocean.
Last week when I was subbing a girl was telling me how this other girl offended her on October 8th. I told that girl it was very unhealthy for her to hold onto that for so long and she has to get over it and forgive the girl because it's destroying her joy. Sometimes the ocean is the best place to cast these things because the ocean is so deep that there are parts that haven't been discovered yet. If we go snorkeling near the surface we feel free and can swim and enjoy ourselves. If we deep sea dive we need to be able to carry the burdens necessary to even just survive in that environment. I don't know about you but I don't want extra burdens.
When I was younger I watched a lot of Nova movies about deep sea diving. The fish that always stuck around the surface were the most beautiful fish the deeper you went into the ocean the more scary the fish looked. I don't know about you but I want to stay near the light and not go into the darkness. Come out of the deep sea and into the light. Do not go near your sins... rise above the surface look toward the sunrise move on and realize God's mercy is new every morning.

2 Timothy 2:22
22 Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.

Righteous Rasberries

Mark 16:17 “And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name they shall cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues”

It all started at Beacon House Church when I was seven years old. This lady ran up and down the isles rambling on and on in tongues saying my dad was an evil man and needed to repent and come back to the Lord. Even when I was seven years old I knew in me that something was not right. I did not like this lady saying these things and saying they were from God. I did not like what she said about my dad. My dad had issues but God was dealing with those issues and praise Him now those issues are no longer an issue at all. The real problem was this woman was using a spiritual gift to destroy another person. I was seven and this was my first serious glimpse at spiritual warfare... I was confused, baffled, and disturbed all at the same time. I didn't understand the gift of speaking in tongues and I certainly didn't understand people being slain in the Spirit. So I started going to my aunt's baptist church where I was very comfortably involved in youth activities and had no fear of anyone being slain in the Spirit of rambling off in tongues. Instead I was just fed with the word of God so much that I was able to win awards for bible scripture memorization.
At the time my mom and dad really couldn't understand why I would not want to go to their own church but they were still happy I was learning the word of God. My mom worked diligently to help me memorize the scriptures and would quiz me and help me find ways I was able to use to help me to remember them. My dad also quizzed me and sang songs to me to help me try to remember some of them. It wasn't until later in life that I realized not even the baptist church was perfect. Soon I grew weary of the legalism they were instilling on their congregation. I thirst for more than just the word but seeing the word lived through lifestyle and not just meaning that we only could wear skirts and coo-lots. I meant I wanted a DEEEEP understanding of God. I wanted to know what it was like living my "all" for Him.
I searched years to find a church home where I was able to develop that intimacy with God. I wandered through several churches where I had a deep feeling that people were just "fake" like they were acting spiritually within the church and then returning home to their lives and doing things that were completely nonspiritual. They didn't realize how disturbing it was to me to see that when I HUNGERED!for the truth. Even my "now" fiance could tell you that the truth was not being taught the way it should have. However God brought me to an understanding in the midst of those churches that I needed to have a relationship with Him outside of church that would help me discern things. It all happened because of my grandma in North Carolina. My grandma was a fan of Benny Hinn who to me didn't seem like he was "all that". She also liked to read books and had a huge collection of the Left Behind Series and Frank Perretti books. I loved her books I would drool over them anytime I was around them. My grandma knew how much I loved her books so she shipped them to me one day not to long ago. When I opened up the cigarette smoke filled pages of Frank Peretti's "This Present Darkness" my eyes were wide opened... not only because I was reading but my eyes were also opened spiritually. This was the time I understood what spiritual warfare was this was the time where I was ready to do battle with Satan. This was the time I laid in my bed with my tongue sticking out asking for God to allow any gift of the spirit He wanted in my life to be put into my life. And so it was! I went to one of those churches I mentioned before... and although things weren't right I was so it didn't matter... God used me! He used me to pray over people and He showed me things in their lives to pray about. Many people didn't realize that when I was younger I started seeing demons... I didn't realize what I was seeing until I read my grandma's books. I didn't realize how much power God gives us to battle Satan. It is a battlefield out there! God gives us the ability to speak to Him in "code" so that He can help us fight off the enemy. That is what speaking in tongues is really about not casting down people but casting down the work of the enemy in peoples lives. I am 27 now and twenty years have gotten me to this point. When I was seven at that church where I learned God's word I gave my heart to Christ. Since then I've been hungry... it is great to finally be satisfied in the Holy Spirit.

John 6:35,51
"And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst…. I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world."

Share the Blood

Romans 3:13-18
13 “Their talk is foul, like the stench from an open grave.
Their tongues are filled with lies.”
“Snake venom drips from their lips.”
14 “Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.”
15 “They rush to commit murder.
16 Destruction and misery always follow them.
17 They don’t know where to find peace.”
18 “They have no fear of God at all.”

I was reading my bible and praying today about the situation I've dealt with this past week. I was crying out to God because I wanted to stay in this job and make an impact in my boss' life. My whole family, my friends, and Johnny's family were all praying for her especially to come to salvation. It's very hard to not feel bitterness when someone shows bitterness toward you for no reason. One thing my dad used to pray on my way to work every morning was "We have 'all' sinned and fallen short of the glory of God". I feel as Christians sometimes we are quick to think we have it all under control and there are no problems that need fixing... instead we try to fix everyone else.
Tonight as I was praying about the bitterness "in my life" and releasing it to God... He showed me this scripture in Romans chapter 3. A scripture I memorized when I was 7 years old was "For we all have fallen short of the glory of God there is no one righteous no not one". I prayed God to forgive me for the bitterness I had for my boss and for other people who have hurt me. When He showed me this scripture I thought woah this describes exactly what I was dealing with all these months and praying over every morning before work. Just then my eyes slide down the scriptures... and realized that it said... and Christ died for them. It didn't just say... Christ died it said He poured out His blood. The person I was bitter toward who wont except God and hates me because I have God in my life is bitter... but God forgave her and He died for her also on that cross. So tonight I'm releasing bitterness toward her and holding her to the cross to be drenched in His blood... crying out thank You Lord and praying for Him to forgive me for not seeing that THIS ONE He gave His blood for also.

So tonight I'm holding her up for Your blood to pour out onto her Lord that she would receive Grace... I'm trading this bitterness in for Grace heal my heart bind my wounds help me to pray for her daily. In Jesus name Amen!

continuing on in Romans 3
25 For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past, 26 for he was looking ahead and including them in what he would do in this present time. God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just, and he declares sinners to be right in his sight when they believe in Jesus.

27 Can we boast, then, that we have done anything to be accepted by God? No, because our acquittal is not based on obeying the law. It is based on faith. 28 So we are made right with God through faith and not by obeying the law.


P.S. If you feel bitterness or unforgiveness in your heart today toward someone... let it rest under the blood of Christ and soak in His grace. Feel free to message me if you have an specific needs for prayer. Love you all!

Agent Identify Yourself

Hebrews 10:24-25
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

This morning I woke up with a to-do list for God. Everyone knows when God gives us a to-do list we better listen because people have gotten swallowed by whales and cast into the wilderness for not obeying God. I tend to have this meh what will people think of me mentality sometimes when I get my to-do list. God wants everyone to know that when we follow Him that's "all" that matters and He'll work it all out if you don't believe me read Romans 8:28. Not saying it's gonna be rainbows and butterflies... if you want more on persecution and standing against the crowd I have past blogs on that also. This blog is about what happened with the to-do list God gave me this morning. So I did it... I did exactly what He asked me to do and I was like okay God what now? And God spoke a word over me... one word; catalyst. Just then I felt the presence of God fill me up. It was a sort of pride but not so much a worldly pride. I felt like God just identified me! One word... and I had "no idea" what it meant. I remembered something about catalysts from chemistry class way way back in high school but I didn't think of myself as a chemical reaction so I looked it up on google. I got this;
3.
a person or thing that precipitates an event or change: His imprisonment by the government served as the catalyst that helped transform social unrest into revolution.
4
a person whose talk, enthusiasm, or energy causes others to be more friendly, enthusiastic, or energetic.

The fourth definition really woke me up because lately I've been feeling like my attitude doesn't always match my heart. My heart loves people it get's excited and wants people to get excited about good things also. However, these last couple rainy days haven't exactly left me feeling enthusiastic. I also felt well God that doesn't exactly tell me what I am going to do but it gives me an identity for now.

Have you ever watched a spy movie and half the time the spy does what he does without being briefed and just goes with the flow because that's what they were trained to do? Well God trained me... and He wants to train you. God wants to give you a secret name like "come in eagle one report your position". In the military we are given names to protect us from the enemy knowing our past or any other form of identification. God gives us a name so the enemy knows who we are in His mind. That may or may not make our mission easier but it definitely will be useful. We need to become who God calls us to be. We have a special mission here on Earth and may not always get the direct contact with the Base but we need to be well trained and ready for what comes. The only way to do this is to put on the full armor of God. That is what we can find in Ephesians 6. I've also done blogs on it in the past if you would just prefer to dive into archives. So keep strong and get training and know who you are. You are a special agent with a mission.

2 Peter 1:3
His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence,

Down to Earth

WARNING: We need to stop covering what's wrong sometime the bandaid is going to have to come off and it's going to hurt

1 Peter 3:11
Let him turn away from wickedness and shun it, and let him do right. Let him search for peace (harmony; undisturbedness from fears, agitating passions, and moral conflicts) and seek it eagerly. [Do not merely desire peaceful relations with God, with your fellowmen, and with yourself, but pursue, go after them!]

I like the Amplified version of the scripture above because it lists the positive things we ought to be replacing negative things with. One of those things was moral conflicts. It doesn't explain to run away from moral conflict but to seek it eagerly. A lot of people look at the way I view things and judge me. They feel I live with my head in the clouds and I need to come down to earth. They feel I should get to know the world more and all the current events. It's come to the point where I just do not fit in with the world anymore. You go to a professional establishment into the break room in a public school and the teachers talk about which bar or night club they are going to.

You walk down the street and hear young girls talking about what guy they are gonna be sleeping with tonight. You hang around the corner at your favorite pizza place and you overhear guys and girls joking around about using sex toys or looking at porn. The "world" has been desensitized to "sin". They feel that everything they do now is just the "norm".

They look at me like I'm some crazy person that I don't get into this stuff. They think me even being "against" it is me "imposing" my beliefs on them. They all feel that if God loves them they should be able to do whatever they want because God gives us "free choice" (YEAH I WENT THERE!).

Whatever you believe you believe... I feel bad because people are just blindfolded to the truth today. There are so many hardened hearts to experience the TRUE love that God has for them. The TRUE peace that we can live in is unrecognizable to people today.

Even the church is afraid to preach this stuff because they don't want to step on toes. They are afraid to stick up for the gospel because they feel the world needs something a little more "up to date". I even am seeing churches now hosting haunted houses???? The last time I checked Halloween was Satan's holiday so what purpose does that have in the house of God? Same thing with pastors who conduct gay marriage (Yeah I went there also). I'm just saying people don't judge me cuz I wont blind myself to the truth to fit in. I DON'T WANT TO GET DOWN TO EARTH! These clouds are fine to keep my head in because here I have a clearer perspective of Heavenly things and the things that honor God. I don't live for the world I live for Him. It is time we stop saying we are Christian if we are just going to go around doing worldly things. Christianity should be taken more seriously and not just worn as a jersey you wear to sport your favorite team. Get into action and get into the game. Most of all get into God's word and open your eyes to the truth!

Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

What's Gonna Work: Teamwork!

Galatians 6:2
Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.


God has been showing me lately that it is important to let others know we are there for them when they are going through storms. Not only is it important to be here for our church family and our actual family but it is also important to be there for people who would never step foot inside a church or even peer at a scripture. When I think of this scripture I think of Jesus carrying the cross to his crucifixion. When I think of the law of Christ I remember that Jesus didn't carry that burden for his disciples only nor his family only... Jesus carried that burden for EVERYONE.

I love everyone and I like to help everyone. Sometimes people don't need my help though and the only thing I can do is pray for them. However, if we all helped each other just think of how much happier this world would be. I hear of missions trips where people come back with a whole new perspective on life because over in other countries people are humble enough to accept help from others. When people in villages help each other with their burdens it brings joy. Even in the US there are families that help each other out. Yet in our own church we hardly even do that. Single unwed moms are sometimes looked down on and instead of a person asking to help by volunteering to watch the kids they usually look at the mom and judge her for not having it all together. Even the parents who don't seem to have control over their kids when they are really trying their hardest. I feel for parents in today's society it is so hard to raise your own children with everyone else trying to tell you how to do it and with all the negative influences you can not control them getting into. We need to pray for families and not judge them. We need to pray for politicians and stop acting like if we were in office we'd solve all the problems. WE can carry each others burdens by showing support and praying. If someone asks for help ... help them! If someone gets in a wreck and you are good at fixing cars why not do the labor for free (which my friend's church member did for her and she was so blessed by it). It is way better to give than receive so why not help each other out? If Christ sacrificed all He did for us can't we do something for someone also?

A Christian ought not to judge someone they ought to help them carry their burden. Just a few Sunday's ago my friend Pastor Jim from Hope Christian Church was talking about how the number one reason why people wont become Christians is because they know one. He's right though. As Christian's what do we do? We judge ... and we point fingers and yet we aren't perfect ourselves! Do we really offer to help carry people's burdens? Even if they say no we can still pray for their burdens to be eased. There are billions of burdened people out there looking for hope and a helping hand.

It warms my heart to find churches that help each other in the congregation out as well as people within the community. Unfortunately, lately I feel like Paul writing this blog because I've found only a handful of biblically founded churches in Connecticut so far that even helps people in their congregation. And even less that help people in their community... and even less than that that help people in the world. We need to start carrying the burden for one another not only at church or through church but EVERYDAY in EVERYWAY.

Keep strong, keep in the scriptures, keep reaching out. Remember we represent Christ and we should be willing to go the extra mile to do what He lived to do.

2 Corinthians 5:20
So we are the representatives of Christ, as if God was making a request to you through us: we make our request to you, in the name of Christ, be at peace with God.

A True Love Story

Psalms 146:3-4
Do not put your trust in princes, in mortals, in whom there is no help. When their breath departs, they return to the earth; on that very day their plans perish.

Ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of someday meeting my prince charming and the troubles of the world would just fade away as I got swept off to a magically land full of butterflies and rainbows. I even loved books about going off to magical places where things were different. My parents used to read us books about Narnia and my brother and I would pretend we lived there. Perhaps that's why I loved playing in the woods as a young child. Perhaps that's also why my favorite book series when I was a little girl was called Alice in Bibleland. I wanted so much to go back into biblical times with my white cat like Alice and walk beside Jesus. There was only one prince in this story series that I loved and wanted to marry someday. Jesus was real to me as a little child but somehow as the years past I felt He got put on my back burner. I felt as if I was looking for something more down to earth... something a little more physical.

That's when the boyfriends started happening. My dad wouldn't allow me to date yet but there were boys at school that I sat next to who would carry my books who I would pay particular attention to. Actually I began to pay more attention to boys than to God. I was never happy and I lost that joy I had as a young child. Until about a year or two ago when I began to come back into the full perspective.

My mom and dad love God they've always been spiritual cheerleaders in my life even when I didn't want them to be. My dad would always tell me when I was crying because my heart was broken by a guy that I should just learn to be happy enough with Jesus. It was soooo hard. I was a mess I felt like I "needed" a guy in my life to make me happy. However after being used and abused by most men I became associated with other than my dad I broke. I HAD to rely on God if I wanted to keep going and discover who I was all over again through Him. It was definitely a process and somehow I would up with a few snakes on the path. But there was always Jesus right there to pick me up and crush those snakes under His heal. Soon I felt like I was slowly coming out of a comatose. I began to realize who I was in Christ again... I began to realize I had worth and God viewed me as beautiful. Even when my parents made the mistake of bringing up my past and explaining their lack of trust in me God never did instead He showed me Jesus. That is how I came "out".

The story doesn't just end there God gifted me with a wonderful man who loves me like Jesus did. A few days ago my parents (being parents) said what would you ever do if Johnny (my fiance) ever broke up with you. I reminded them that I was used to a broken heart and that I would just pick up and carry onward to whatever God had for me elsewhere. However, God has given me a sense of security in this relationship that I've never found before and Satan would be the only one who could try to take that away and we all know Satan can't win over God.

Yet, even with Johnny in my life now ... Jesus is still my first love I still stand in awe of Him and love to dance in His presence at the feet of His throne. I love to bask in His glory and feel the hem of His garment and it's overpowering strength.

If you are where I was and every night you cry tears into your pillow waiting for the man of your dreams to step in and wondering when he will get there, take time to get to know yourself through God's eyes and realize how much He loves you.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.

When Life Rains on Your Parade Make Mud Pies!

James 1:12 AMP
12Blessed (happy, [a]to be envied) is the man who is patient under trial and stands up under temptation, for when he has stood the test and been approved, he will receive [the victor's] crown of life which God has promised to those who love Him.

The other day I was stuck in a big puddle of self pity and it seemed like life and worry was raining down hard on me. It was a day when I was working with the kids and it was raining out. I was so tired of the rain I brought the kids outside. The rain wasn't that bad anyway. The kids were enjoying making mud in the sandbox.

Anyone who knows me knows I have something called Seasonal Affective Disorder. When it rains it is very hard for me to not get sad or discouraged. Most of the time I get so depressed I do not like to get out of bed. However, children always seem to cheer me up and I'm always out the door for work. You could say that children bring sunshine to my rainy days. To think looking out a window in your life thinking those are some dark clouds when is the sun going to come out. Children have a way of having fun despite the dark clouds that linger above. They are ready for anything and always ready to make the best of any situation. A few of the kids were like we can't be outside it's raining. I was like it was a few raindrops and it wasn't down pouring... I spoke too soon because just then it began to rain harder. I asked the kids if they wanted to go inside and none of them did instead we spent a good hour in that rain making sand castles and mud pies.

So often we look at things in with an adult perspective... when will the sun come out? We forget that we can praise God in any storm we face... even if it isn't picture perfect weather. I love the song Bring the Rain by MercyMe. I have been waiting and waiting for a job and to be honest it hasn't been easy... I've been graduated since December just waiting to hear someone will keep me full time. I tried being a head teacher but that didn't quite work out and so I decided I'd start of smaller and a little more humble as a teacher in a Head Start program. Even I had doubt they would hire me and that day I posted Bring the Rain on my profile I was thinking of posting that song Praise You in This Storm. However, I wanted God to know I was okay with the rain also if that was what He wanted.

Trials teach us things they grow us in strength and perseverance. They also teach us to wait patiently on God. I wanted God to see that I can be happy in any situation and that when the rain comes I'm going to make MUD PIES!

Romans 8:17

17And if we are [His] children, then we are [His] heirs also: heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ [sharing His inheritance with Him]; only we must share His suffering if we are to share His glory.

Who's Got Your Tongue?

James 1:19
19 Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry.

You know those moments when you are caught in the emotion of being hurt or offended and your mouth just goes BLUUUUUUUUUUURP? Then afterwards you are like what did I just do? I didn't mean to say that! Oh if only we could take back every idle word that came from our mouths. I'm not actually writing this as a warning. I'm trying to let you know that we get offended because we are human. Most of us who read this are women. Women are very emotional creatures and that is just how God created us. He created us to be like Him in that regard.

However, God knows when it is wise to say something to someone. Usually when God tells people something it is to benefit them and it's for their growth. God is an emotional God but thankfully He doesn't react from His emotions out of impulse.

As an English major in college I had to read several puritanical pieces of literature. The one that stuck out to me most was the poem "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God". As a Christian it just didn't make sense. Why would the loving Father who created us to be His companions want to destroy us? Then what would the purpose of Jesus dying on the cross be? It just didn't make sense that God was so caught in His emotions that He would destroy humans just because of sin that He already is stronger than. I don't believe that for a second. I believe what John 3:16 says, God loves us so He sent His Son to die for us. I know you feel I'm getting off the subject of speaking idle words I guess what I'm trying to prove is God doesn't speak idle words. When we speak God's word over situations that upset us or frustrate the heck out of us... or even just offend us we are winning over the plot of the enemy because God's words are not idle.

Whoever heard or read anything that Satan has said that was not idle? Satan is the king of idle words... and whenever we give into those bluuurps we are acting from fear, frustration, hurt, envy, anger. All these things are not of God. What is of God should keep us reassured of His peace and keep us calm knowing we have already won the fight. Galatians 5 will tell you exactly what kinds of things we should be putting on to keep us from bluuuuuurping the words we don't mean. It's not easy of course it's not easy because it means we have to struggle with our flesh. The tongue is the most powerful muscle in our bodies. The bible is right though, out of the mouth comes the abundance of the heart. When we speak from the hurt in our hearts we hurt people. When we speak from peace and healing God can do amazing things.

I don't know about you but I'm ready for a change. I'm ready for God to have the control of my tongue and my heart and for it to be filled with powerful wonderful blessings instead of the idle words that Satan wants to use to destroy. We are not sinners in the hands of an angry God we are sinners in the hands of a merciful Savior who can change even the coldest darkest heart into a heart of pure joy and peace. He also can change the sharpest deadliest tongue into a vessel of light and truth.

James 3
James 3
1NOT MANY [of you] should become teachers ([a]self-constituted censors and reprovers of others), my brethren, for you know that we [teachers] will be judged by a higher standard and with greater severity [than other people; thus we assume the greater accountability and the more condemnation].

2For we all often stumble and fall and offend in many things. And if anyone does not offend in speech [never says the wrong things], he is a fully developed character and a perfect man, able to control his whole body and to curb his entire nature.

3If we set bits in the horses' mouths to make them obey us, we can turn their whole bodies about.

4Likewise, look at the ships: though they are so great and are driven by rough winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the impulse of the helmsman determines.

5Even so the tongue is a little member, and it can boast of great things. See how much wood or how great a forest a tiny spark can set ablaze!

6And the tongue is a fire. [The tongue is a] world of wickedness set among our members, contaminating and depraving the whole body and setting on fire the wheel of birth (the cycle of man's nature), being itself ignited by hell (Gehenna).

7For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea animal, can be tamed and has been tamed by human genius (nature).

8But the human tongue can be tamed by no man. It is a restless (undisciplined, irreconcilable) evil, full of deadly poison.

9With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse men who were made in God's likeness!

10Out of the same mouth come forth blessing and cursing. These things, my brethren, ought not to be so.

11Does a fountain send forth [simultaneously] from the same opening fresh water and bitter?

12Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine figs? Neither can a salt spring furnish fresh water.

13Who is there among you who is wise and intelligent? Then let him by his noble living show forth his [good] works with the [unobtrusive] humility [which is the proper attribute] of true wisdom.

14But if you have bitter jealousy (envy) and contention (rivalry, selfish ambition) in your hearts, do not pride yourselves on it and thus be in defiance of and false to the Truth.

15This [superficial] wisdom is not such as comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual (animal), even devilish (demoniacal).

16For wherever there is jealousy (envy) and contention (rivalry and selfish ambition), there will also be confusion (unrest, disharmony, rebellion) and all sorts of evil and vile practices.

17But the wisdom from above is first of all pure (undefiled); then it is peace-loving, courteous (considerate, gentle). [It is willing to] yield to reason, full of compassion and good fruits; it is wholehearted and straightforward, impartial and unfeigned (free from doubts, wavering, and insincerity).

18And the harvest of righteousness (of conformity to God's will in thought and deed) is [the fruit of the seed] sown in peace by those who work for and make peace [in themselves and in others, that peace which means concord, agreement, and harmony between individuals, with undisturbedness, in a peaceful mind free from fears and agitating passions and moral conflicts].

The DL on SL

This "was" who I had become...

2 Thessalonians 3:10-12

10For while we were yet with you, we gave you this rule and charge: If anyone will not work, neither let him eat. 11Indeed, we hear that some among you are disorderly [that they are passing their lives in idleness, neglectful of duty], being busy with other people's affairs instead of their own and doing no work. 12Now we charge and exhort such persons [as [a]ministers in Him exhorting those] in the Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah) that they work in quietness and earn their own food and other necessities.

I'm sure you've read by now in the "meet the author" blurb on the side here that I used to have a ministry in a game called Second Life. There were several reasons I quit this "game" and today I feel it is right to reveal all of them so that others will realize it and not get dragged in like I was.

I started playing when my ex boyfriend (who desperately needs a lot of "mental" healing) introduced me to it. I like it because it gave me a way to get out of my dysfunctional life and look like I want, do what I want, and even fly. Even after I finally dumped my abusive ex-boyfriend I couldn't stop the addiction of being on Second Life. I completely justified my reasons for playing the game stating that I was running a women's ministry. However, the things I was doing on that game even in front of the women I was ministering to were not honoring God. I was going around judging everyone and even gossiping about other people. I was also neglecting several important things in my real life.

It was hard for me to just quit and say I'm not going back. Second Life was my outlet I thought to a lot of my problems. It gave me a place to go where I could just get away (temporarily) or did it? Because when I logged off I was still faced with problems ... sometimes even more problems. The things that went into my mind from that game I carried out into my life. Soon I was having problems with gossiping outside of the game. I was judging people outside the game also... and was I living a perfect lifestyle? I was certainly trying but gossiping and judging is a sin as much as the people I was judging were sinning. I remembered the scripture about pointing to a speck in someone's eye when you have a plank in your own. Soon I began to feel the freedom of being away from Second Life. Even my friends began to see a difference in me. I was not even sure who I was but I was determined in who I wanted to be and that I would not go back to who I had been.
It wasn't like my life got any easier though. I still had all the same problems and then some. It seems Satan likes to attack you the most when you are on the right path. I did my student teaching and passed school by the skin of my teeth. I graduated and passed my Praxis tests. I wasn't able to past just one test I need for my certification though. So I looked for a job that I could do without it. I had two wonderful amazing jobs but obviously they weren't meant to be.
Now that I'm unemployed and have so much free time. I also have stressed out people all around me who do not mean to take it out on anyone around them but they do. So I have been basically living in my room if I'm not out with Johnny or watching a movie with my family (when everything is calm). I am "not" liking everyone asking about work... even though they can't help it. In my own stress Satan lies to me and tells me that I should go back on Second Life and distract myself. Then I am like what you really are going to do that after God delivered you from it? You really want to go back and mess up your life all over again? I'm like no that "was" me I am a new creation now... all that is buried and done with. There are more important things in my life now I have friends actual Christian girlfriends who encourage me and I encourage them and we pray for each other. I have a fiance who also keeps me encouraged. My cat is even spending more time with me. And when my family is not stressed out and they are approachable I have them also. Life is way better even if it has it's valleys and it's storms. I am happy that I'm not into that anymore. I am expecting God for a job and I'm expecting to return to helping others in a way that God has called me to in person... face to face.

Ezekiel 36:26
26A new heart will I give you and a new spirit will I put within you, and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

The Bride Complex

"So The Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh; and the rib which The Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." (Genesis 2:21-23 RSV)

So I'm engaged and of course I'm excited to be planning my wedding. However, there have been a few things along the way that I'm not so very fond of right now. For example, why is it that the worldly view of weddings is that the main focus is on the bride? Even the song which plays "here comes the bride" makes everyone focus on the bride. All these television shows say yes to the dress and other things. They all make it seem like the whole wedding day is "just" to make the "bride" happy. Whatever happened to the idea that weddings symbolize a bigger picture. Think of the bride of Christ? We are going to be taken with Him in unity!!! As the bride of Christ we are His helpmates... that is our responsibility. We don't focus all our attention on ourselves as the bride of Christ and Christ doesn't focus all of the attention on Him either. It's about relationship our relationship with Him for God's glory.

The body of Christ makes up the bride of Christ. We need to look at our relationships also as the body of Christ. Yes the man is suppose to be the spiritual head. Why not? He was created first and women have a tendency to be ran by their emotions and not so much by their logic. It's just God's smart way of doing it. However we are important too in the body of Christ. We as women have qualities that men do not possess that they need help with and men have qualities that women posses that they need. I believe the important thing is that even though the man is the the relationship t we don't forget that we have a function also. We aren't bound with rope we are able to help. Being a helpmate is a great responsibility and is very important for the relationship to keep it strong. Both a man and a woman are needed to make a marriage work to glorify God. Therefore, let's celebrate that!

The same is for our spouse. Our identity was originally created from him. We were made from man so that we know that we together are "complete".

The following is something that I came across many years ago:

Woman was created from the rib of man.
She was not created from his head to be above him
Nor was she created from his foot to be trampled by him
She was taken from his side to be his equal,
From beneath his arm to be protected by him,
From near his heart to be loved by him.

This is exactly why we need to realize that our wedding should be about our unity. It is not just about the bride it is about two people coming together with a purpose ordained by God. Marriage is a ministry it is not something to be just a show for people it requires intense work and dedication but most of all it requires commitment and unity of the heart.

I hope the next time you look at the man you want to marry you will realize what it's really about and refocus your marriage on Him together.

“Two are better off than one, because
they can work more effectively. If one of
them falls down, the other can help him
up…Two people can resist an attack that
defeats one person alone. A rope made
up of three cords is hard to break”
(Ecclesiastes 4:9,12)

He's Got You Covered!

1 Timothy 2:9
"And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes."

It's summer time! So before you go out that door let's think about what we are wearing and why are we wearing it? In a society where they charge you an arm and a leg for something that doesn't even cover an arm or a leg it is hard to see why we stand to be societies manicins. I admit that in summer time it is not sensible to wear as much clothing as we would in other seasons. However, it doesn't make sense for our bodies to be exposed in front of our "admirers" also. That's right I went there! I am female and I know that when we females put on clothes we often think of what we would wear to impress the opposite sex. Am I wrong?

Okay so God made a person out there for you and they are going to think you are beautiful no matter what you wear... or don't wear. That person will be your husband and until that person comes along GIRL YOU BETTER COVER YOURSELF! Why would you try to lure in the wolves if that is not the kind of creature you want to spend the rest of your life with? By honoring your body you are not only honoring God but you are honoring your husband. In Proverbs 31:12 it says a virtuous wife honors her husband all the days of her life. That means now also even if he's not even in the picture. So let's think twice about leting society chose what we are wearing today.

Picture Hollywood and the red carpet... and picture what they are wearing? Do you realize those poor people are slaves to society and slaves to a sexual culture? I don't know about you but I do "not" think that is beautiful. I feel bad for those people. I would rather live in "holy would" then Hollywood. If I wanna be holy would I wear that?

It's all a matter of the heart... is your heart in the world or is your heart focused on God? Most Christians do not get along with Muslims but I respect them. I have a friend that I admire greatly. She wears a hijab (head-dress) and when I asked her why she does (because she's cool like that and let's me ask questions) she said that God's word for her (the Koran) tells her that she should wear it in respect for God. Covering her head is her way of showing respect to God so she does it. So why aren't we showing respect to God? Our bible tells us how to dress also but maybe people don't realize that. My friend is very modest but is she goregous? OOOOOOH yeah she's the kind of girl that has green eyes and a beautiful face but her eyes are what pulls you in because they are so full of beauty and light. I don't know about you but I am a sucker for when my boyfriend stares in my eyes and tells me how beautiful I am. I've had guys give me "elevator eyes" and tell me I'm hot but it is totally not the same.

When I get up in the morning sure I think about what I am wearing and yes I do try to look prettyful for my guy but first and foremost I realize I am a Princess of the King and as such I represent Him. I want to represent Him in a beautiful way being modest. I live according to God not according to the world.

1 Peter 2:12 NLT
"Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world."

Open Your Eyes!

Matthew 7:1
Do not judge others, and you will not be judged

It's just been a heaviness on my heart lately how sometimes even in churches people are looking for perfection. I feel that if we are all looking for perfect people then why do we call ourselves Christ followers? Jesus went to people who were far from perfect and healed them. God chose people who had issues far before Jesus was even on the earth. All the GREAT people in the bible were people who had REAL issues who God changed.

This past week I attended two churches because I had gone camping Sunday and attended church there then attended the church I am a member at on Wed. night. Both churches talked about the blind men who were healed. However the service I attended while camping explained how Paul was blinded by God before his life was transformed by God. Paul for those of you who don't know was a really wicked person before God transformed him. Paul actually killed Christians. When God struck Paul and blinded him it was for not only him to see his life differently but it was for others to start seeing him differently. I am SURE that when Paul was healed by God and started serving God people were wondering "what" was going on. I am sure a lot of them still didn't trust Paul. However, they didn't realize that is the way God works. He takes the broken, past burdened people, and transforms them and uses their testimonies and passionate hearts to save lives.

The story that my home pastor preached on last night was talking about two blind men who were begging for healing from Jesus. The disciples actually told them to be quiet but they refused. When Jesus had compassion on them and healed them they followed him and began to walk amongst the ones that were trying to shush them. Just another testimony of God's power to decide who out of the outcasts will serve Him.

One of my friends got tired of people judging her for her past all the time. She finally went back to the church that she grew up in and went to in her youth. Instead of judging her for her past they took her in and welcomed her with open arms. They knew she had issues but they wanted to remind her that God can still use her. Their compassion helped transform her life. She was unable to get a job because of her criminal background but they looked past that also and offered her a job using her gift in a Christian camp. She has been cared for and not cast out and in return God is using her this summer to touch the lives of youth. She will in return for the compassion that was put on her make sure that she helps any young girl to stay on the right path and not be led astray. God is going to use her in mighty ways!

So the next time you see a person in church who looks a little out of sorts remind yourself that they just might be God's next great warrior. They just might have the hope of hundreds in their heart. They could reach people and transform lives. Don't be blind to who God can use! Open your eyes and open your heart!

"A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. And I will put My Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in My Statutes, and ye shall keep My Judgments, and do them... Without Me ye can do nothing"
(Ezekiel 36:26-27; John 15:5)

What's on Your Mind?

2 Corinthians 1:12
12 We can say with confidence and a clear conscience that we have lived with a God-given holiness and sincerity in all our dealings. We have depended on God’s grace, not on our own human wisdom. That is how we have conducted ourselves before the world, and especially toward you.


Last night I went out with my new friend from Colorado and we were talking and getting to know each other. To my surprise she does not own a television or a microwave. I told her the television I could understand. I had talked to my dad earlier that weekend about how I had taken the remote, turned off the television and hurled the remote at the television. I was MAD very mad at it because there was nothing but junk and I couldn't believe people's minds were being polluted with the filth. I am not saying all television is bad but we really have to be careful to what we put in our minds.

This past weekend a pastor at the campground was preaching on how we need to put on our helmet of Salvation to protect our thoughts cuz Satan is in the world seeking those he can devour. I realize that Satan messes with our thoughts but this never struck me as so obvious then lately. Lately I've just been feeling so down about a lot. I have even on numerous occasions shared the "voices in my head" with people I care about and explained what they are saying. Well, that weekend I learned where those voices come from and they are no longer allowed in my head. I have put on the helmet of Salvation and am guarding my thoughts. So the next time you turn on your television or even start listening to someone realize that your thoughts and anything you put into your thoughts should be carefully filtered and tested for purity and peace.

Titus 1:15
15To the pure [in heart and conscience] all things are pure, but to the defiled and corrupt and unbelieving nothing is pure; their very minds and consciences are defiled and polluted.

Heart to Heart

Isaiah 48:10
Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.


A while ago I had a weird dream of a ring made from glass. I remember feeling sorrow because the ring had broken and shattered and I felt as if my dreams had been shattered also. I was weeping and crying out that it was not suppose to be glass but it was suppose to be sterling silver.
Have you ever been to a glass blowing place? The person sticks the sand into a furnace until it forms a ball of molten glass then blows on it to form something beautiful? I've always been fascinated by glass. I wrote a poem called "The Sea Glass Heart" about a heart that had been shattered and become dangerous to others who tried to pick it up. The sea glass heart would rest in the bottom of the ocean until it got smooth and was no longer dangerous. When it was healed and ready to be admired the heart returned to shore awaiting the right person to pick it up and cherish it always.
I recently have discovered that glass is so fragile it will always be prone to brokenness. I no longer thought that a glass heart was something beautiful. Today I got a text that said "Btw it's not glass it's metal". I realized then I wasn't seeking a glass heart... I needed my heart to be like metal. I needed it to be molten by the Holy Spirit so all the impurities and things that were not of Him would come out. Then it would settle into a beautiful form that was strong and able to stand the test of time.
Sometimes when something looks beautiful and fragile it can be dangerous. However, something dirty and coarse can become something pure and strong! The way we get there is to keep in our hearts the things that will make us pure and strong.

Psalm 12:6
6The words and promises of the Lord are pure words, like silver refined in an earthen furnace, purified seven times over.

Called to Battle

Psalm 55:22-23
22Cast your burden on the Lord [releasing the weight of it] and He will sustain you; He will never allow the [consistently] righteous to be moved (made to slip, fall, or fail).(A)

23But You, O God, will bring down the wicked into the pit of destruction; men of blood and treachery shall not live out half their days. But I will trust in, lean on, and confidently rely on You.

As I was driving Mema/Lela (Johnny's Grandma) home last Thursday we talked about a lot of deep spiritual issues that are going on in society. It was a constant on our heart thing that keeps getting repeated by many people I love "we are in the last days". When I hear that my heart tends to shiver and chills run up my spine, not because I am afraid. Honestly my heart weeps for all those who do not realize there is still a God out there who they need. I was pouring out my heart to Lela about how I have been trying to minister to my friends... and how sad it is to even see my Christian friends slipping into the patterns of the world. I feel responsible I feel like I need to help them keep their heads above water. Lela said all I can do is pray and that is enough. Lela has GREAT faith and is a mighty prayer warrior and for her to say that seems so easy.

Tonight I was reading my dad's posts on facebook. I didn't realize I post so much until I realized he posts every three seconds. I post like that also. Why? because I long to touch the world before it is too late. I read today how children in public schools in California are going to be spoon fed lies from Satan. Little children in Kindergarten are going to be force fed a lot of crap about "tolerance". My heart started pounding and breaking for all these children. I started racing in my head thinking what will I do, what will I do if it infects Connecticut. I can not teach children lies of Satan. I can not desensitize them to sin. I need them to know the truth! I was thinking maybe I'll just hide away in a Christian school some place where I know I am allowed to speak the truth. But God made me re-read a letter I got from my pastor's wife.
I had been going through a time of persecution and rumors when my pastor gave me this scripture to read. She told me to read Psalm 55. I read it tonight again as I was trying to know what God wants me to do. God quieted my soul and said YOU ARE CHOSEN! I have to be a light when all around me is dark. I have to be the truth because if I am "not there" how will His children know? If I don't go who will? We need to be ready equipped for battle because we are living in the end times. There is a war to fight and it may get ugly but we need to know our side is already victorious!
Why am I posting this to a blog going out to young Christian girls mostly? Because we are women! and as women we were designed as nurturers, healers, helpers and teachers! We need to get out there and glow.

2 Timothy 1:8
So never be ashamed to tell others about our Lord. And don't be ashamed of me, either, even though I'm in prison for him. With the strength God gives you, be ready to suffer with me for the sake of the Good News.

The Ultimate Pain Killer

Psalm 147:3 AMP He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds [curing their pains and their sorrows]

Have you ever been told that hurting people hurt others? I know I've been that hurting person before the one who hurt others because I was so into my own wounds that I didn't realize I was inflicting pain and guilt on other people. Somewhere there needs to be a few hundred hospital beds for wounded hearts. The IV needs to be the love of Christ and the pain killer the restoration of joy and peace in that person's life.

My mom used to work on the critical care step down unit in a hospital. She would come home telling us stories about how the patients were flaring everywhere and it was almost hopeless to get an IV in them that would help them calm down. I think of myself when I was wounded and others tried to help me and provide comforting words. My heart was hardened to it and I was flaring around in my "woa is me". Sooner or later I got tired out and gave in though. Sooner or later these other hurting people are going to get tired out and give in also. There is an appropriate time for ministering to others. Sometimes we just need to back away and realize God will keep that person in His hands until He calls us to that person.

I am very much like my mom I want to help everyone to heal. I want everyone to be happy and I take my job as an encourager very personally. If someone is down I tend to take on their emotions. If someone is hurt I tend to take on some of their pain. Lately I realize that is "not" as crazy as it sounds... because I am designed after God and in His image. Our God does that also He sent Jesus to go through the pain the torment God on earth experiencing what it is like being a man. He felt that pain He felt that rejection that heart ache. Did He hurt others? No He took it and made it into something He could help others with. He went on and healed people and proclaimed miracles all over for the glory of God.

We need to take on a new saying. Healed people help others! Claim healing and realize God wants you to be whole in Him. He loves you ... your cares He cares about. Lay it at His feet today.

Be encouraged and if there is anything you ever need prayer for I am here for you!

Isaiah 53:5
But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed.

Walnut Perspective

Psalm 139:16
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.

I got frustrated today because I'm just so blah lately not knowing what God wants me to do. Unfortunately all I know is what He wants me to do in the future... and really can't see anything right in front of me. It got a hold on my emotions and because I was so frustrated I blew up on someone I love very much. The thing I blew up at them about wasn't even the thing I was really upset about. Lately I've lost two jobs within a couple of months and am very aggravated that I can't hold down a job. I've been staying up nights just over thinking about how unworthy I feel without a purpose in my life right now. I sit awake days over thinking of how I wish something would just pop up so I wouldn't have to feel like I'm sitting around doing nothing.
Then I remembered something my brother had said to me a few days earlier when I had an emotional breakdown. My brother told me to remember the movie Soul Surfer when she was looking at the walnut. Sometimes we want everything so close up that we fail to see the bigger picture. We fail to look at things from another perspective. Right now I can't see what's in front of me I can only see the bigger picture. However, I need to be okay with the bigger picture and look forward and rejoice that someday it will happen.
I can't imagine how Bethany Hamilton felt after her dream of surfing had been chomped with a big giant shark bite... but she didn't give up because she had faith in the bigger picture. Although she couldn't see what was right in front of her she had faith that God had a wonderful plan for her life.
When life throws us rip curls and we feel we can't control where it is taking us sometimes we need to just hang ten and ride the wave. Let go let God and realize He has a bigger picture.

Habakkuk 2:3-4
3 This vision is for a future time.
It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled.
If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently,
for it will surely take place.
It will not be delayed.

4 “Look at the proud!
They trust in themselves, and their lives are crooked.
But the righteous will live by their faithfulness to God.

In a Perfect World

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Do you know that the more perfect I try to be the more imperfect I feel? I have always had this issue with comparing myself to others. I'm not good enough, my grades aren't good enough, my body isn't beautiful enough... I just seem to spiral into being dissatisfied with everything God does. I also have an issue sometimes with thinking I'm better than people. Today I'm realizing after reading this scripture that that is exactly what the world is training us to do. The world wants us to compare ourselves it wants us to strive toward perfection. If we aren't perfect we aren't worth it? I forgot that I grew up on God's word. Who does He use the most in the bible? He didn't use the people who were well off. He used the ones who were poor who people despised the unspeakables the untouchables. He used the vessels that were already broken. Why? Because if He used someone who seemed to have it all together how brightly would His glory shine? God wanted to make an impact on the world and let us know that it's okay to be "not perfect".

My brother quoted "Perfection is a tool used by the devil to tell us we never will be! the more we strive for perfect the more we know we are not BUT We are all perfectly imperfect... God loves us even where we are at and cherish us as his children. Never loosing hope in us as long as we never loose sight of His true self..." Why then do we strive toward being perfect by the world's standards?

Isn't it true though that the more I strive toward perfection the more I fall short? It's like dieting... the more I'm concerned with my weight the more weight I gain. The more unhappy I am with myself the less beautiful I look. Up until my ah hah moment today I thought as long as I did what the bible said and kept on keeping on I would be perfect in God's eyes and who cared about the rest. Do you realize it's totally impossible to do everything the bible tells us to do and ... God knows that? I'm not saying it's okay to go against God's word at all. I'm just saying don't try to be perfect because you wind up looking like a complete idiot.

Admit when you are wrong. Admit when you are weak. Ask God to help you in any area where you need Him.

Dear God help me to stop measuring myself up to people and stop being focused on me and my image. Help me to instead be a vessel for you no matter how broken I feel. In Jesus name Amen

James 3:2
2 Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.

The Rides of Life

Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Lately I've been dealing with a lot of roller coasters lately. If you ask anyone they will tell you I do "not" like roller coasters. If I am on a roller coaster I basically just shut my eyes tight and pray until it's over. Although once I was on them for a couple times in a row I was able to open my eyes and see things from a whole new perspective. Sometimes we just need to be comfortable enough to allow room for growth. I still like to "avoid" roller coasters at all means. Yet, there are some times when I feel like my life and it's roller coasters are just unavoidable. I want to close my eyes and pray until it's over but obviously I must open then at some point and see things from a different perspective and most of the time at a very fast pace. When you've gone on a roller coaster a bunch of times you can get a feel for when the next drop will be. However a new roller coaster presents a whole new perspective and you will not know where the drops were you just have to hang on for dear life and trust God will get you through. The question then is will you go back to that knowing that you didn't like it... even if you know what to expect or will you move on to another ride?

I love carousels because they go around and you know what to expect. I also love that you can decide where you sit and what style your pony will be. I wish life was more like carousels with fancy decorations and predictability. I wish it had lovely music that would play and allow you to relax, no matter what it would never go by too fast.

A while ago I decided that I would dare to try things I've never tried before and at least once a year would do this to expand my look at life. The year before this year I tried roller coasters and I learned that one roller coaster I went on had a beautiful view that I could only see if I opened my eyes and trusted God. My other venture was eating a whole lot of sushi. I was weary of trying new things. Then I realized if I don't I will not learn what works and what doesn't. If we don't trust God we will never learn. God wants us to experience the good and the bad so we will learn what works and what doesn't. He isn't a dictator deciding where we will go next. He gives us choices so that we decide and learn for ourselves.

So whatever ride you are facing be sure to trust God and keep your eyes open.

2 Corinthians 5:7
7 For we live by faith, not by sight.

Better Than Cinderella

We all know the story. The girl loses her father and an evil step mother comes to force her into a miserable life until the fairy godmother comes along to save the day by transforming her rags into riches and allow her to be presented to the prince who she would marry. Well Princess, this story is much better!

Once upon a time there was a little girl who lost "both" her parents. Thankfully she didn't have to go live with a wicked anyone she got to live with her older cousin a nice man who raised her and told her of her heritage all her life. Eventually this girl grew up to be a very beautiful young lady.

One day a king ordered all the beautiful virgins to be assembled before him so that he could chose a new wife. The beautiful young lady was advised by her sweet cousin never to reveal her heritage or any of her background to anyone in the kingdom. So the girl listened to her kind cousin and even changed her own name so that no one would recognize it's roots. There the girl was presented with a beauty treatment and beautiful clothes and jewels to wear. The other virgins were dolling up and getting ready to present themselves to the king. They were laying on the jewels thick as well as the perfume. However the beautiful young lady did not instead she asked the man who had served the king for years what she should wear. She took this mans advice. She was very kind to everyone and everyone in the kingdom grew to love her. When the king heard of her he asked for her to be presented to him. He fell in love with her and placed a crown upon her head. She had one the beauty contest and the king's hand in marriage!

But this was not the end of the story... some evil men were plotting to kill the king and the new queen's kind cousin warned her about this. The new queen told her husband and the husband found out that she was indeed right. She had saved his life!

However this was not the end... one of the king's men had put out word to kill all the queens people of her heritage and the queen was afraid. She went to her kind cousin and he told her that "now" was the time to reveal who she was and what her heritage was. The queen knew this would probably make the king mad and he might even order her to be killed but she had to stand up for her people. She told her that his man was having her people killed. The man became angry and insisted that she be killed but her husband the king spared her life and ordered that the lives of her people be spared as well. The king loved his wife so much... she was truly a heroin.

This whole story can be read in the book of Esther.

This story was not just about some beauty contest this story was about a woman who loved God and her people and was brave enough to stand for what was right even if it meant her own life would be taken. How brave are we? Would we use what God gave us and stand in the midst of our enemies unashamed? Even if it meant death? Or maybe even job loss? I encourage you today to stand firm on your faith no matter what the cost! Be an Esther :)

1 Corinthian 16:13
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.

What Will I Wear?

Lamentations 1:3-4
3 After affliction and harsh labor,
Judah has gone into exile.
She dwells among the nations;
she finds no resting place.
All who pursue her have overtaken her
in the midst of her distress.

4 The roads to Zion mourn,
for no one comes to her appointed festivals.
All her gateways are desolate,
her priests groan,
her young women grieve,
and she is in bitter anguish.

Sometimes we come home wearing the burdens of our job or the stresses of our lives. Soon we are burnt out and can barely stand through the day. When we don't have others supporting us we feel hopeless and lose zeal. We find ourselves trying to take on to much just to "hold it all together". Sometimes we even try to hold together what isn't even there. I've seen this in jobs when bosses are abusive to their employees. I've seen it in houses where husbands fail to support their wives. I've seen where women all over are giving up hope. They are looking for a shoulder to rest their head on and they can't find one. That or they find one in the wrong places. Marriages fail because a wife turns to another man for compassion or gets too involved with work that she buries herself in it and rarely sees her family. There are women stretching out asking for hope. Hope from an employer to recognize they are trying hard. Appreciation from others around them that they poor out their heart to.

I have a friend who doesn't know that I can look into people and see hurt. My friend gave up her dreams and her career to be a homemaker. She now looks at me with sadness in her eyes and a sort of lost hope. I feel like she's crying out a warning to me to never give up my dreams. I feel like she wants her husband to recognize her "needs" as well. She needs to find purpose outside of her home. I pray for this friend daily.

If God has a calling in your life keep stretching out until you reach it. Satan will try to knock us off the path God has us on to distract us from God's great plans. Satan feels threatened by the potential God put in you. He will do anything he can to stop you from getting where God wants you. You need to be smart and steadfast. You need to ask God what to do. God will sometimes tell you to do things that aren't familiar to you. He may even direct you to speak openly with people and give you the words to say even if you've never spoken up for yourself. Now is the time be YOU speak for what God created you to do. Lighten the load a little and live! Ask for help! Renew your strength by waiting and relaxing in the time of your waiting. Remember in order to take care of others we must first take care of ourselves. In order to the best wives and mothers and teachers we can be we need to first feed ourselves spiritually and emotionally. Be assured that God loves you and He appreciates you serving Him when you serve others. He has clothes you with precious jewels and linen and has called you blessed!

So break away from the things that are burdening and get out there and get the joy that is waiting. Get out there and join the festival of Joy.

http://ministerofpraise.com/Colors.aspx

This is an interesting site made by a sister in Christ who leads a praise ministry it talks about different colors of clothing and what they represent :) Let's see what garments we've been wearing.

Isaiah 61:3
“To give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness

You're Breaking My Heart!

Lamentations 1:1-2
1 How deserted lies the city,
once so full of people!
How like a widow is she,
who once was great among the nations!
She who was queen among the provinces
has now become a slave.

2 Bitterly she weeps at night,
tears are on her cheeks.
Among all her lovers
there is no one to comfort her.
All her friends have betrayed her;
they have become her enemies.


My best friend took a trip with other women from her church one night to write encouraging scriptures in chalk on the driveway of a sister-in-Christ who had just recently lost her child. It is a very very sad thing when you loose someone so dear to you so many pieces are missing so many unanswered questions. There are so many people out there who are coping with loss. So many people who can use some warm hugs and some inspiration. So many times we look past people right in front of us who are hurting. God has been opening my eyes slowly and showing me people's hurts He's been giving me the words to pray over them. Sometimes God will direct me right to them to lay hands on them and pray for them right there in the open... maybe even right in front of a store. Sometimes God speaks to me in the still of the night when I feel heaviness on my heart for someone and I will pray for them without them around. However, it is important to pray for each other and lift each other up in "sisterly" love. Sisterhood is a very powerful thing and can help mend broken hearts. It can help bring comfort to the tears. It can restore hope. Let's encourage one another and pray for one another this week. Give someone a hug and remind them you are praying over them. Whisper words of inspiration and promise into their ear. Be a light when all around seems dark.

Let's restore hope and remind others although they feel betrayed they are loved they will be protected by the Lord and let's offer our deeds of kindness as well. Listen to them and become more intimate. Remind them what goodness God speaks over them. Allow your heart to be broken for what God's heart breaks for. Be His hands to heal.

James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.